World as Myth
by Mister Trickster
Summary: For Want of a Nail. Thirteen years ago, Misogi Kumagawa met Zenkichi Hitoyoshi in a hospital nursery. Thirteen years ago, Medaka Kurokami did not. Currently on hiatus.
1. Is That The Truth?

**Author's Note**: I wish I could take credit for the idea behind this story, but like most good ideas, someone else had it first. An alternate take on the series where Zenkichi and Kumagawa met as children was used by sadistic lunatic in "All the Omniverse in One Girl". Forewarning, this is a For Want of a Nail fic, so some characters will behave differently from their canon counterparts, though I hope I stay true to their cores and that they remain familiar and engaging. Any and all feedback is welcome and appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: Medaka Box is the property of Nisio Isin and Akira Akatsuki. The author is making no profit by this work.

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**World as Myth**

**Arc One – Kuudou Hinokage's Successor**

**Prologue: Is That The Truth?**

The 150 Year Prologue:

"Is that the truth, Hanten-kun?"

"Yes, Najimi."

"Well, I'll have to visit the Shiranui Village then."

-ooo-

The 15 Year Prologue:

"Is that the truth, Kajiki-san?"

"Yes, Fukurou-san."

"Well, I'll have to visit the Shiranui Village then."

-ooo-

The Prologue:

_Hakoniwa Academy. A not-quite-normal school of not-quite-normal students. Whether they be seniors returning for their last year:_

「This is my year, Tanzaku-chan! Starting now, I'm going to be the voice of Hakoniwa Academy!」

"Captain, please! Remember what happened the last time you had a microphone!"

「Don't worry Tanzaku-chan! That was when I was still a freshman. I've learned how to hold myself back since then.」

"Really?"

「Really! Even if six hundred human hearts get shattered, there'll be at least five people still standing.」

"Captain!"

_Transfer students looking for a place to call their own:_

"And this is our clubroom. It probably can't compare to a school as prestigious as you're used to, but nonmembers aren't allowed inside, so it's a quiet place to work at least."

"It's fine. Now get out."

"What? What do you- _urk!_"

_Naive freshman, still idealistic, soon to discover how far their idols have fallen:_

"Harigane Onigase, right?"

"That's right, sempai! Harigane Onigase, freshman of Class 3. My motto is "Rule with an iron rod"! May I say it's an honor to join the ranks of the Enforcers!"

"Wah, so serious. You should take it easy, Onigase-chan. Why don't you come join us for karaoke?"

"Um … sempai?"

_And future best friends meeting by chance for the first time:_

"Hey, hey! So I take it that this is a challenge, seeing as you dropped an eraser in front of me? Kah! It seems like you don't know about the man who they called "Erase Man", the one who mastered the skill of the silent eraser. Alright then! Challenge accepted! I'll bring my own eraser tomorrow! I'm Zenkichi Hitoyoshi! Who are you!?"

"Pfft. Oh my, you are a strange one aren't you? Hello, "Erase Man". Well, let's try and get along with each other. My name is Hanhaba Shiranui."

_Hakoniwa Academy. A school where Normal meets Abnormal._

"Is that the truth? You want to join the Student Council, second year Koga-san?"

"Kurokami-san … please do something crazy with me!"


	2. Welcome To The Student Council

**Author's Note**: A special thank you to my first reviewers, Alewar Warinot, V2, and Yuu3, as well as to everyone who thought this worth favoriting/following after only five hundred words. Now here's something you can actually spend some time reading. Again, any and all feedback is welcome and appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: Medaka Box is the property of Nisio Isin and Akira Akatsuki. The author is making no profit by this work.

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**Chapter One: Welcome To The Student Council**

The Hakoniwa Academy Broadcast Club had always been one of the school's smaller organizations, a situation not improved by the actions of a certain overenthusiastic freshman member two years prior. But that could not be helped; the Broadcast Club worked behind the scenes, its sphere of influence extending only as far as the academy walls. Compared to the clubs that operated on the national level, it was no surprise the Broadcast Club was often forgotten. Even the clubroom, necessarily of the larger sort to accommodate the club's equipment, was relatively unknown to students outside the club. In fact, there were only four nonmembers who knew where the clubroom was located. Two of them were already there, seated at a table with the club's most senior members.

"She's completely unorthodox in everything she does! I thought she might have mellowed out a bit once she got to high school, but she's just as take-charge as ever. I can't believe she's already taken over the Student Council." A young man, with messy, strawberry-blond hair and blue eyes, wearing the men's uniform of the academy.

**Zenkichi Hitoyoshi**

**Freshman: Class 1**

**Blood Type: AB**

**Star Sign: Leo**

"I take it Kurokami-san was just as extreme when she was a middle school student, Hitoyoshi-san?" A young woman of small stature and indeterminable age, with short, light blue hair angled away from her face, wearing the women's uniform.

**Hanhaba Shiranui**

**Freshman: Class 1**

**Blood Type: [REDACTED]**

**Star Sign: [REDACTED]**

Zenkichi snorted. "That's putting it lightly, Shiranui. Back me up here will ya, Kumagawa?"

「Now, now, Zenkichi-chan. Medaka-chan and I were only together for a short while before I graduated, remember? You were in the same year, for three years. You should know much more about her exploits than me.」 Another boy, slightly shorter than the first, dressed in the same uniform, with black hair and blue eyes.

**Misogi Kumagawa**

**Senior: Class 4**

**Blood Type: AB**

**Broadcast Club Captain**

「Still, she hasn't wasted any time in making a name for herself. I'm sure even you've heard about her by now, Tanzaku-chan?」

"Captain … who are these two?" The last student present, another girl of small stature, with blue eyes behind a pair of red-rimmed glasses, and purple hair done up in two buns with a large red ribbon.

**Tanzaku Aso**

**Senior: Class 3**

**Blood Type: AB**

**Star Sign: Sagittarius**

Gesturing at the two freshmen helplessly, Aso turned to her captain in confusion. "Captain, only members are allowed in the clubroom, remember? We can't have anyone damaging the equipment accidentally."

「Don't worry about it, Tanzaku-chan,」 said Kumagawa cheerfully. 「Zenkichi is my trusted childhood friend, and Hanhaba-chan is my trusted childhood friend's new best friend!」

"Please put your worries at ease, Aso-sempai," said Shiranui. "As Kumagawa-sempai has said, he and Hitoyoshi-san have known each other for years, while Hitoyoshi-san and I are close friends with a deep history ourselves."

"Oh? How did you two meet?" asked Aso.

"In April. I dropped my eraser, and this fine gentleman picked it up for me."

Aso stared at the other girl. _Is … is that it? Where is their deep relationship?_

"Don't let her good manners fool you, Aso-sempai," said Zenkichi, shrugging his shoulders. "Shiranui is even more devious than Kumagawa."

"My, my, I suppose we best take that as a sideways compliment, well, Kumagawa-sempai?" said Shiranui, smiling sweetly.

「What a smile! If only you were in your forties, Hanhaba-chan, and you'd be right in my strike zone!」

This observation was followed by total silence.

"_Yeah_," said Zenkichi, as the atmosphere began to grow awkward. "Back to the original topic. As I was saying, Medaka Kurokami has been standing over people for as long as I've known about her. She was Student Council president the last two years of middle school, and she basically ran the school her first year anyway. Remember how that happened, Kumagawa?"

「How could I forget? It was after that incident that people began referring to her as the Heyday.」

"The Heyday? How'd she earn a nickname like that, Captain?" asked Aso.

「Well, there was a delinquent in the year below me who no one dared oppose. The Destroyer, everyone called him. He got it into his head to attack Medaka-chan, but she just knocked him down on her first day. He kept coming back to try again, and Medaka-chan just kept knocking him down again. They would probably still be at it, but after seeing the Destroyer get smacked around by a freshman girl, all his enemies banded together and ran him out of the school. You know, I don't think Medaka-chan even noticed.」

"No surprise there," added Zenkichi. "For her, it was probably like swatting a fly; she spared enough attention to brush him away, then forgot about him right after."

"Swatting a fly?" repeated Aso, aghast. "I thought you said everyone was scared of this delinquent?"

"Everyone was," answered Zenkichi. "Maybe not of his strength, but he was the type you didn't want as an enemy. He would just keep hammering on anyone who pissed him off, breaking everything like a blunt weapon. He never bothered me, and he never bothered Kumagawa, so we never had any reason to get involved with him."

"And Kurokami-san defeated such a person with only minimal attention?" chuckled Shiranui. "Well, that about matches what I have heard about her. Exceptional athletic performance and exceptional academic performance, backed by the wealth of the Kurokami Group. Standing above others is a good way to put it, Hitoyoshi-san."

"You two seem very well-informed," said Aso, looking at both Zenkichi and Kumagawa. "Are you two her friends or something?"

Zenkichi and Kumagawa exchanged glances.

"_Well_, not really friends," said Zenkichi carefully. "I don't think anyone's really friends with Kurokami-san. It's just, there was an … incident with Kurokami-san and another student that Kumagawa and I got caught up in, but that's about it."

「I actually met her when I was four,」 said Kumagawa. 「But that meeting shouldn't count. She probably doesn't remember it, and the me back then didn't have much in common with the me of middle school. Actually,」 Kumagawa rubbed his chin thoughtfully, 「the Zenkichi-chan of middle school was very different from the Zenkichi-chan of right now. Where is my phone…?」

With this cryptic statement, Kumagawa began searching his pockets.

Zenkichi eyed him warily. "Kumagawa," he said slowly. "You wouldn't be talking about a certain photo of a certain student with dyed hair would you? Because I remember you promising that certain student that you had deleted that certain photo of his dyed hair before leaving middle school."

Kumagawa pulled out his cell phone. 「I lied.」

"Give me that phone!" Zenkichi snarled, leaping across the table and tackling his friend.

"Watch the equipment!" Aso wailed. "Captain, please stop horsing around!"

"Don't give into peer pressure, Kumagawa-sempai, and do show us this photo," Shiranui called to the boys, seated serenely in her chair.

"Don't encourage him/them!" Zenkichi and Aso cried simultaneously, as the one struggled with his friend for the phone, and the other circled them nervously, trying to direct them away from the more delicate machinery.

「Don't try and hide it, Zenkichi-chan!」 said Kumagawa. 「I'm sure you would look quite ferocious with your hair dyed, if the novelty ever wore off.」

"You traitor! It was your suggestion that I get it dyed in the first place!"

「How many times does Hitomi-sensei need to warn you of my bad influence before you get a clue?」

"How many times does she have to reject you before you take the hint?"

「She's just playing hard to get!」

This argument, incomprehensible to the onlookers, probably would have continued until the phone was destroyed or the photo was revealed, but a timely interruption ended the struggle, saving both Kumagawa's phone and Zenkichi's dignity.

The door to the clubroom burst open, and two girls tumbled in. The one on the left had light brown eyes and brown hair in two small ponytails, and was wearing round glasses and a variant of the standard academy uniform. The girl on the right had brown eyes and short red hair done in two buns at the back, and was wearing a light-yellow cap. Notably, her uniform was black as opposed to the usual white.

As the girl in white began to rise, the girl in black jumped to her feet and physically hauled the smaller girl away from the door, slapping one hand across her mouth when she started to protest. Staring wildly at the room's four occupants, she raised her free hand to her mouth and drew it across her lips in a zipping motion.

Outside the door, several feet came to a stop.

"Wait, what about this? Could they have hidden in here?"

"Nah, that's just a storage closet, not enough room. Come on, they gotta be somewhere around here."

The owners of the voices took off again, leaving the clubroom behind.

The girl in black visibly sagged with relief, letting go of the other girl and leaning against the wall, releasing a deep sigh. The girl in white, now freed, stepped away from the girl in black, shooting her a glare as she wiped her mouth and straightened her glasses.

「Does the clubroom really look like a storage closet from the outside?」 Kumagawa asked the room in general.

"This is a clubroom?" sneered the girl in white, eyes scanning the room and its occupants, and narrowing in distaste. "It certainly looks like a storage room, if not a closet."

"Onigase-san!" cried the other girl in dismay. "Don't say that! We would have been found if they had made a noise!"

"And so what, Koga-_sempai_!" snarled the girl in white, spinning round in a fury. "_I_ had everything under control! _You're_ the one who lost her nerve and turned tail! I can take care of those delinquents by myself, and I don't need the Student Council to do my job for me!" With this declaration, the girl in white stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

"Are you alright?" asked Zenkichi, getting to his feet and walking over to the girl in black.

"Yeah … yeah, I'm, I'm…" the girl in black trailed off, then threw herself at him, grabbing onto his uniform and bursting into tears. "No, I'm not alright!" she wailed. "This-was-my-trial-run-and-I-messed-everything-up- and-I'm-going-to-fail-and-Kurokami-san-is-going-to -fire-me-and-it's-still-my-first-week-and-if-she-t hinks-I-can't-even-handle-this-much-she'll-never-d o-something-crazy-with-me!" The stream of words quickly degenerated into muddled sobs.

Zenkichi glanced around for help, only to find that the others had become fascinated with the walls opposite his direction. Hesitantly, he placed his hands on her shoulders and patted mechanically. "There, there," he consoled, trying desperately to remember how his mother treated her patients. "Everything will work out, you'll see."

Apparently recognizing his discomfort, the girl in black stepped away from him, turning away to rub at her eyes. Shiranui materialized at her side to offer a handkerchief, which the other girl accepted gratefully.

"There we go, nothing like a good cry to calm us down," crooned Shiranui, leading the taller girl over to the table. "Now, let us get you sat down. It is Koga-sempai, correct?"

"That, that's right, yes. I'm Itami Koga, junior, Class 3."

**Itami Koga**

**Junior: Class 3**

**Blood Type: AB**

**Student Council Candidate**

"Is that so? Tanzaku Aso-sempai here is in Class 3 herself. She is a senior though. I am Hanhaba Shiranui, a freshman of Class 1. Sorry about Hitoyoshi-san there, he is an idiot, so feel free to ignore him."

"Hey!" said Zenkichi, but was waved away by Shiranui as she sat Koga down.

"Zenkichi Hitoyoshi-san is in the same class and year as myself, and this last boy is Misogi Kumagawa-sempai, a senior of Class 4. Now, deep breaths, deep breaths."

Koga followed Shiranui's advice, breathing in deeply, before breathing out slowly. "Yes, um, yes, thank you for your help. I'm, I'm sorry about that outburst earlier, I'm usually much more upbeat than this, I promise." As if to prove herself, Koga smiled, though the redness around her eyes undermined her efforts somewhat.

"Koga-san, if you do not mind, could you please explain what that was all about?" asked Shiranui.

Koga took another deep breath, and then nodded. Shiranui beckoned Zenkichi to sit down, who did so after shooting her a dirty look.

"Yes, um, where to start … oh! Shiranui-san, you and Hitoyoshi-kun are freshmen, so you probably aren't aware, but last year, the Student Council was empty. The president … um, well, the president … anyway, the president was the only member, but they took care of the school and kept the rule breakers in check, so no one ever really discussed it. But then, Kurokami-san joined this year, and I … I wanted to join the Student Council as well! I've never met anyone like Kurokami-san before! Even if it was only for a little bit, I wanted to spend time with an amazing person like that!" Koga, who had been growing more energetic as she spoke, deflated. "Well, I asked if I could join, and she offered me a trial period to show what I could do." Koga gestured glumly at her uniform. "I was thrilled at the time, but now…" Koga trailed off.

"Harder than you expected?" asked Shiranui.

Koga nodded. "Kurokami-san put me in charge of handling the suggestion box."

Zenkichi whistled. "The suggestion box? She really went through with that? I thought that was just an empty campaign promise."

"Geez, Hitoyoshi-kun," said Aso. "How could you not have heard about it? The virtual suggestion box is Kurokami-san's big hit! E-mail, voice mail, text; whatever the message, the Student Council will reply. And if you really have a problem, a member will even come help you out in person."

"Eh, I guess it's just too modern for me," said Zenkichi. "If you ask me, a good old physical box that you drop a note in would have been better."

"Speak for yourself," said Koga. "The suggestion box is super efficient! Kurokami-san even set up a program that sorts the messages based on content. It weeds out spam and joke messages, then puts the rest into categories and prioritizes them. Doing all that by myself would be a nightmare! All I have to do is read through and reply!"

"I bet I could handle it…" Zenkichi muttered.

He was ignored.

"So if all Kurokami-san has had you do during your trial period is answer student messages, Koga-san, what was all that business with the other girl about?" asked Aso.

"Well … recently there have been a lot of complaints about a group of troublemakers being led by a student named Kanoya-"

「Kanoya-chan?」 asked Kumagawa. 「He was one of the candidates running for Student Council president, wasn't he?」

Koga nodded. "That's right. Kurokami-san put him in his place after he started trying to get votes through violent means though. Since then, he's been stirring up trouble with some other boys. I thought if I could handle this on my own, Kurokami-san would be satisfied … but I messed up…"

Shiranui patted her on the shoulder. "Take your time, Koga-san."

"Thank you. Anyway, I meant to sort things out on my own, when I ran into Onigase-san. She wanted to take care of Kanoya herself, so I thought we should help each other, but she got really angry with me; she seemed to think I wanted to do her job for her."

"Her job?" asked Zenkichi.

"She's an Enforcer." explained Koga.

The others stared at her blankly.

"She's with the school police." Koga tried again.

No faces lit up with understanding.

"She's a member of the Public Morals Committee?" Koga hazarded.

「The Public Morals Committee?」 Kumagawa turned to Aso. 「Did our school have one of those, Tanzaku-chan?」

"Don't ask me, Captain."

"The Public Morals Committee," recited Shiranui, getting their attention. "Also known as the Enforcers and the school police. They are the committee tasked with handling rule breakers; however, for the past two years the Student Council president has taken care of the school in their stead."

「Whoa. You're so knowledgeable, Hanhaba-chan!」

Shiranui shrugged. "I just like to stay informed. Anyway, as I mentioned, the Student Council president has looked after the school for the past two years, so membership has been on the decline. Most of the committee now are only a step away from joining the Going Home Early Club instead. That said," Shiranui turned her attention back to Koga. "It sounds like this Onigase-san is a fan of the original Enforcers. I assume she probably blames the Student Council for their current state of affairs."

"I had no idea!" Koga moaned. "I swear, I didn't even know what the Public Morals Committee was!"

「Yeah, that probably didn't help.」 said Kumagawa.

"Alright!" Koga jumped to her feet. "Everyone, thank you for listening." Koga bowed from the waist. "I'm going back."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," said Zenkichi, waving his hands. "Kanoya-sempai and his bunch are bad news. You should let that Enforcer girl handle them, or ask-"

"Thank you, Hitoyoshi-kun, but no," said Koga, rising from her bow and turning towards the door. "Even if it's only temporary, I am a member of the Student Council. This is my job. Even if I can't do anything, if I don't try, I might as well hand in my uniform right now." Over her shoulder, Koga smiled brightly. "Itami Koga's extra ordinary life becomes extraordinary today." Koga opened the door and stepped out, the door closing softly behind her.

「Well, that's my cue to leave.」 said Kumagawa, rising from his seat.

"Captain?" asked Ao.

"Kumagawa…" said Zenkichi warningly.

「Sorry, Tanzaku-can, Zenkichi-chan. As an ally of the weak, it's my duty to help this (cute) girl in her time of need.」

"Gah, you're always like this," grumbled Zenkichi. "You always try to act cool in front of girls, and it always ends with you getting beaten up."

「Not all the time-」

"_All the time_, Kumagawa." Zenkichi sighed and rose as well. "Fine, fine, let's go."

「What? What is this? Zenkichi-chan, could it be you've been charmed by Itami-chan as well? After thirteen years of friendship, are we going to become love rivals now?」

"Idiot! Of course not. Who's been looking after you for the past decade? If I don't keep you in line no one else will."

「…So you're not denying that you've been charmed by Itami-chan?」

"No! I mean … yes … no! No, I was right the first time! Don't lump me in with you; falls in love with a new girl every week-"

「Today actually. I saw this really hot blonde cosplaying as a witch yesterday…」

"-and then still has the audacity to proposition my mother whenever he sees her!"

「How dare you, Zenkichi-chan! Don't pervert the pure expressions of my first love into something so crude!」

"Aso-sempai, could you possibly translate for me?"

"No, Shiranui-san, no I cannot. It's still ten years too soon for me to try and make sense of the captain."

"Don't talk about us like we're not here," Zenkichi snapped.

"We're not talking about the both of you like you're not here," answered Shiranui. "Just Kumagawa-sempai."

「Yeah, Zenkichi-chan. You're so mean, bullying Hanhaba-chan like that.」

"Don't defend her! Urg, let's just go, alright?"

「Okay! Kumagawa and Zenkichi's excellent adventure starts right now!」

"…Don't you mean Kumagawa and Zenkichi's bizarre adventure?"

「Easy there, Zenkichi-chan! We can't start busting out the _Shōnen Jump_ references this early on in the story!」

"Whatever. Come on."

After the boys left, Shiranui and Aso sat in silence for about five minutes.

"Shiranui-san?" said Aso.

"Yes, Aso-sempai?" said Shiranui.

"How are those two going to find Koga-san?"

"They are a clever pair of boys, Aso-sempai. I am sure they will figure something out."

-ooo-

Koga stood completely still, stunned by the scene before her. The troop of delinquents that had been following Kanoya were strewn about in a bloody heap, their bats, boards, and other improvised weapons smashed to pieces. In the center of the carnage, standing over a fallen Kanoya, was a panting Onigase, her white uniform stained by splotches of brown.

Koga squeaked.

Onigase spun around and lunged, fists raised. Koga yelped and threw up her hands for whatever meager defense they could offer and shut her eyes. When no impact came, she cracked her eyelids, to find a bloodied ring of metal trembling a scant few centimeters in front of her face.

"Oh. It's … it's you." Still breathing heavily, Onigase stepped back.

Tentatively, Koga lowered her arms.

"Did … did you do all this?" she asked.

"You … bet I did." Though clearly winded, Onigase swelled with pride. Pulling out a cloth, she began to clean the tools she was holding in each hand. Now that she had unclenched her fists, Koga could see that the shorter girl had been using a pair of handcuffs as weapons. "I … I told you the Enforcers didn't need the Student Council to do our job for us." Onigase noticed the object of Koga's gaze. "Hey, the Enforcers are _allowed_ to carry weapons in school you know! This is how we dispense justice!"

"But, but isn't this a bit much?" asked Koga, gesturing at the bodies on the floor.

"Please," Onigase sneered. "They got what they deserved. And if you're going to say I went too far," Onigase glared at Koga. "Isn't this the fault of that Kurokami in the first place?"

"What?" cried Koga. "How is any of this Kurokami-san's fault? She was the one who stopped Kanoya the first time!"

Onigase snorted. "So what? If she taken care of him _properly_, the situation wouldn't have escalated to this level. _That's_ why I had to go this far to discipline these creeps. If you don't come down hard on rule breakers, they'll just break the rules again as soon as you look away."

_Crunch._

Koga screamed as Onigase crumpled. Kanoya towered over the girls, his bat dripping from where it had hit Onigase's skull. He was a tall boy, with spiky, dark colored hair. His was a frightening visage, with pointed teeth and a small scar beneath his right eye.

"You got that right, bitch. But you're inexperienced. Don't turn your back till you're sure the other guy is down for the count." Kanoya turned his attention to the trembling Koga. "And who're you supposed to be?"

Koga swallowed. "It-Itami Koga. I'm wi-with the Student Council…"

"_You're_ from the Student Council?" Kanoya threw back his head and roared with laughter. "That beast woman sent you?" Kanoya's laughter stopped abruptly. "What, she thinks I'm not worth her time?"

"Kan-Kanoya-kun," Koga pushed forward. "The Student Council has received several complains about your behavior. You-you need to stop-"

"Huh? What's that? You trying to give me orders?" Kanoya growled. "Just who do you think you are?"

"I-I-" Koga stopped, and took a deep breath. "I am a member of the Student Council. I am here to tell you and your friends to stop." Koga gestured at the bodies spread out around them. "Give up, Kanoya-kun. You're the only one left."

"Ha, you think these punks are all of my guys?" Kanoya sneered. "I heard that beast woman had sent some shlub from the Student Council after me, so I thought they would make a good test for the new recruits. I wasn't expecting Kurokami to send some throwaway though."

"Don't you insult Kurokami-san!" said Koga, trying to stand firm. "She was well within rights to put a stop to your antics!"

"Oh? It was "within rights" for her to steal the Student Council from me, was it? Well in that case, it's "within rights" for me to take it back." Kanoya leered down at her. "I think I'll start with you. Boys, get in here!"

No one came.

Kanoya raised his head, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Boys?" he called again. When there was still no answer, his lips curled down in a snarl. "Oy, what are you bastards playing at? You come when I call for you!"

"Yeah, sorry, I don't think anyone will be coming anytime soon."

"Huh? Who the hell are you?"

"Hitoyoshi-kun!"

Zenkichi stepped through the doorway, took a look around the room, and whistled. "Damn, did that Enforcer girl do this? Did I even need to come?"

"Oy!" Kanoya thundered. "Who the hell are you, punk? What do you mean no one's coming?"

"Hmm? Oh, you're Kanoya-sempai right? You're a hard man to find. I ran into your posse. They weren't very forthcoming with where you were at though, so I had to … well, you can probably guess."

"Hitoyoshi-kun!" Koga cried. "You came to help me?"

"Ah, well," Zenkichi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Actually, it was Kumagawa who wanted to follow after you."

Koga blinked. "Kumagawa-sempai?"

"Yeah, he's right … behind … wait, seriously? Did he leave me alone? I don't believe this!"

"You … you…"

Koga and Zenkichi turned back to Kanoya, who was trembling with rage. "The hell? The hell is this? All these freshmen looking down on me … is this a damn joke?" With a roar, Kanoya leapt forward, bat raised. "Who the hell do you think I am! I'm Kanoya fu-"

Zenkichi's foot drove into the upperclassman's face, sending him flying in the opposite direction and into a window. And through it. The sound of breaking glass rang throughout the school, followed by a crash as Kanoya hit the ground.

Koga gaped at the broken window. "Hit-Hitoyoshi-kun, that was ama- Hitoyoshi-kun?"

Zenkichi grabbed Onigase and slung her over his shoulder, before taking Koga by the arm and pulling her along.

"Hitoyoshi-kun? Why are we running?"

Zenkichi stared at her as if she was mad. "Are you kidding? I just broke a window! I didn't mean to kick him that hard! I mean, we're on the first floor, so I'm sure Kanoya-sempai is alright, but that's not the point! Do you know how much trouble I'll get into if a teacher finds out I smashed a window!"

"Oh, um, I guess. So, where are we going now?"

"Nurse's office. If anyone asks, we were looking after Onigase all afternoon. Once she wakes up, we'll get an alibi together."

"Ah … right." And even though she was running through the halls and away from trouble for the second time that day, Koga smiled.

-ooo-

Beaten and bruised, an irate Kanoya staggered away from his headquarters, leaning against the wall for support.

"Kurokami, Koga, and … Hitoyoshi," he growled. "I'll get 'em. I'll get all of 'em. Think they can humiliate me like this and get away with it? I'll get 'em. _I'll get 'em_."

「Whoa there, Kanoya-chan. Is that anyway to talk about your cute underclassman?」

Kanoya's head snapped up, to find his way blocked by a short boy with black hair and a wide smile, toying with a small screw in his hands.

"Who the hell are you?" Kanoya growled at him. "Another one of that monster's lapdogs?"

「Ha! Is that a joke, Kanoya-chan? Does my uniform look black to you? I haven't worn that color since middle school! To answer your question though, I'm the captain of the Broadcast Club, and one of the six knights.」

"…The hell? Are you Hiromichi Gō?"

「Oh, you got the reference! Good for you, Kanoya-chan! Still, while I'm always delighted to meet another fan of _Weekly Shōnen Jump_, I'm afraid that won't be enough to save you.」

"Save me? What, you think you can handle me, small fry?" Pushing himself away from the wall, Kanoya shakily rose to his full height, easily dwarfing the other boy. "You think you got what it takes to finish me off?"

「No, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm an ally of the weak, so I'm pretty weak myself. I've got a friend who's been good enough to watch my back for the past thirteen years though, so in return, I do what I can to watch his.」 The boy stopped playing with the screw in his hands, taking it in his right and pointing it at Kanoya. 「You know, Kanoya-chan, I fully understand your philosophy. It only makes sense that the strong should stand over the weak. But what you need, in my opinion, is a slight change in perspective.」

"You're crazy," Kanoya growled, advancing on the smaller boy. "I think I'm gonna vent my frustrations on you, punk."

「Oh, I think your present frustrations are soon going to be the least of your worries, Kanoya-chan. However, I'm just here to teach you a lesson, so after a week, I'll remove the seal myself.」

"I already told ya, ya freak, I'm gonna-" Kanoya stopped, and looked downwards. Imbedded in his chest was the screw the boy had just been toying with, now enlarged to several times its original size. Kanoya staggered backwards, clawing at the screw in his chest as his hair began to turn white. "What … what the hell is this?"

「Don't fret, Kanoya-chan. I'm a happy, content, well-balanced young man, so my Book Maker isn't nearly as disgusting as it used to be. Just be glad I'm not the old me. Then the next week would _really_ be unpleasant.」

-ooo-

"In conclusion, the nurse's office is filled to maximum capacity, a window has to be replaced, and until the blood stains are all cleaned off, the classroom is virtually unusable. Do you understand me, Koga-san?"

"Yes, Kurokami-san." Koga squeaked.

As she fidgeted, the girl sitting on the opposite side of the large desk drummed her fingers against the wood. Koga had the distinct feeling she was being appraised. Had she done it? She had done all she could, but was that enough? Even after she had gotten Hitoyoshi-kun and Onigase-san caught up in her problems, would she still-

"Koga-san."

"Yes!" Koga yelped.

Medaka Kurokami rose from her seat and made her way around the desk. "In future, please don't feel as if you need to handle these types of situations on your own. There was nothing you could have done had Kanoya gotten violent with you."

Koga nodded, then bowed low. So that was it then. But-

_In future … does that mean…?_

"That being said, you handled yourself admirably, and based on the most recent messages in the suggestion box, I'd say the problem has been resolved. I'm glad you decided to get help from some of the other students, but your fellow Student Council are here to help as well you know."

Koga's head snapped up. "Fellow Student Council? Kurokami-san … do you mean…?"

Medaka smiled, removing a green armband from her left sleeve and pinning it on Koga's. "Good work, General Affairs Manager Koga-san. Welcome to the Student Council."

"_Yes!_" Deliriously happy, Koga wrapped her arms around Medaka in a hug. The other girl tensed for a moment, then returned the gesture. Sensing her hesitation though, Koga drew back, blushing in embarrassment. "Ah, excuse me, Kurokami-san, I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, Koga-san," said Medaka, returning to her seat. "Being able to laugh when you're happy, or cry when you're sad. Being able to express yourself so honestly is a wonderful thing. Now, you had some help handling second year Kanoya-san, correct? Why don't you go tell them the good news?"

"Right-o!" said Koga, bouncing on her feet. "I'm just going to run to the Broadcast Club then. But after that, you can expect me to be ready whenever you need me, Kurokami-san!"

Medaka smiled as the other girl ran out of the office, and returned to her paperwork as the rapid footsteps grew fainter. Within moments however, the footsteps returned, running past in the opposite direction. Medaka paused, and furrowed her eyebrows.

"She does know where the Broadcast Club room is, doesn't she?"

-ooo-

The next day, in the Broadcast Club.

"Well, all's well that ends well, as the saying goes."

「Says the guy who broke a window and mauled a group of upperclassmen.」

"That first part was an accident! And Onigase did way worse than I did! How has that rumor even spread anyway?" Zenkichi huffed.

"What does it matter how people found out, Hitoyoshi-san?" said Shiranui. "What matters is that you have quite firmly established yourself as a … "badass". Yes, that is the term. Besides, it is just a rumor, so even if the students take it as fact, the teachers are not coming after you. Or Onigase-san, for that matter." Shiranui tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps the Student Council president pulled some strings."

"Speaking of which, I wonder how Koga-san is faring?" said Aso. "Has anyone spoken to her since then?"

「Sorry, Tanzaku-chan. Nothing yet. Still, I'm sure everything is fine. No news is good news I always say!」

"You've never said that." Zenkichi deadpanned. "And where were you yesterday? Helping out Koga was your idea, Kumagawa. You missed out on your chance to look cool in front of a cute girl."

「Oh, Zenkichi-chan,」 said Kumagawa, shaking his head. 「You're still too naïve. There will be other chances to look cool in front of Itami-chan. Besides, you know I don't like other people to see me when I get serious.」

"By the way, Hitoyoshi-kun, whatever happened to Kanoya?" asked Aso. "He's disappeared after you kicked him out of a window and off the school roof."

"See!" Zenkichi roared, leaping to his feet. "That's why I don't like rumors! How would that even work?" Zenkichi deflated, and fell back into his seat. "I don't know. I just wanted to get the hell out of there before someone showed up. If he's crawled under some rock to lick his wounds, more power to him I say. Just so long as he behaves himself from now on."

「I'm sure he's repenting his actions even as we speak, Zenkichi-chan.」 said Kumagawa. 「The next time we see Kanoya-chan, he'll be a brand new man.」

Zenkichi glanced at Kumagawa suspiciously. His friend smiled back.

"Well, regardless of what has become of Kanoya-sempai, I don't think you will need to worry about bullies ever again, Hitoyoshi-san." said Shiranui. "After all, I doubt anyone is going to make trouble for the Freshman Typhoon."

Zenkichi's head snapped around at a speed that promised severe neck pain later on. "The Freshman Typhoon? What is that?"

"Why, Hitoyoshi-san, that is what people are calling you now, because you are the freshman who destroys everything in his path, be it students or school property, like a typhoon."

"What? What sort of nickname is that? Couldn't they have come up with something better, like the Devil Storm, or something?"

The other three stared back at him with pitying eyes.

"…Devil Storm?" said Aso.

Zenkichi turned red. "Well, that's just one option. Still, the Freshman Typhoon? Is that really the best anyone could come up with?"

"Maybe Onigase-san is responsible," Shiranui posited. "After all, I am sure she is none too pleased with you either, Hitoyoshi-san."

"Huh? Why would Onigase be mad at me? I saved her from Kanoya-sempai and carried her to the nurse's office."

"Yes, and now the student body are attributing all of her efforts to you. While you may have had the best of intentions, I am afraid your actions have not done much to bolster the Public Morals Committee's reputation."

"…But, but, that's not my fault! I didn't want any of this to happen!"

"Just let it go, Hitoyoshi-kun," Aso consoled. "Captain, would you say something?"

「…Pfft … Devil Storm.」

"Shut up! It's still better than the Freshman Typhoon!"

-ooo-

"The Freshman Typhoon, eh? What's up with the lame title?"

"Who cares what he's called? If the rumors are even halfway true, he's still worth scouting."

"Well, I suppose you know best. Still, in every version I've heard, he beat Kanoya with a kick. Sure someone like that is going to be interested in Judo?"

"Nya~ don't be like that, Jounan-kun. Just leave everything to me. Before the week is out, we'll have a brand new member practicing on the mats with us."

"If you say so, Captain."


	3. Become My Disciple

**Author's Note**: Not much to say about this chapter. For those who like a little more action in their fanfiction … there's sorta-kinda some here. But as my readers should already be acquainted with the original work, I imagine you can probably guess when the fighting will start to become more prevalent. Or maybe not. For Want of a Nail and all that. As usual, any and all feedback is welcome and appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: Medaka Box is the property of Nisio Isin and Akira Akatsuki. The author is making no profit by this work.

* * *

**Chapter Two: Become My Disciple**

「Are you alright, Zenkichi-chan?」

Zenkichi grimaced. "Yeah, pretty much. Neck's been sore for a while. Think I must have pulled something during all the excitement a few a days ago. Anyway, as I was saying?"

「Oh, right. So, Itami-chan was accepted into the Student Council full time, Zenkichi-chan?」

"Yeah, seems like it. It's a good thing Shiranui told her our class number though. Koga-sempai wanted to tell us all together, but now she can't find the clubroom again."

「It's not really that hard to find, is it?」

"Kumagawa, the only reason _I_ can find the clubroom is because you would always drag me there after school ended before I enrolled."

「Hanhaba-chan never seems to have any difficulty.」

"She's Shiranui."

「Fair point. Hmm, maybe if we hung up a sign … Tanzaku-chan, next bite.」

Aso dutifully plucked up another piece of omelet with her chopsticks, and guided the morsel into Kumagawa's mouth. As her captain chewed contentedly, Aso returned to her own food. This ritual had continued throughout the lunch period, in full view of the rest of the cafeteria.

The stares were making Zenkichi uncomfortable.

"Aso-sempai," he started, motioning to the bento box between the two upperclassmen. "I've been meaning to ask, but why are you feeding Kumagawa?"

"The captain wants to be fed his lunch by a cute girl," said Aso in total seriousness. "I obliged him."

Zenkichi blinked. "Really? That can't be all can it? I mean-"

"**Hitoyoshi-kun**." Aso's glasses flashed. "I am doing this because I want to. Not because I do not want the captain using the speaker system, and had to agree to several harsh conditions under duress. Understand? Now drop the subject."

Zenkichi dropped the subject.

"My, my, Aso-sempai can be scary when she wants to be."

Zenkichi glared at the girl sitting beside him. Though she was drinking from a thermos, he could still make out the upward pull of her lips.

"You're not saying anything about this?" he asked, gesturing at Aso as she fed Kumagawa another bite.

Shiranui set her thermos down on the table, next to her empty rice bowl. "And why should I say anything, Hitoyoshi-san? How Aso-sempai and Kumagawa-sempai conduct their relationship as subordinate and captain is no business of mine. I am quite content to enjoy my lunch and observe."

"Sure," said Zenkichi, unconvinced. He glanced down at the bowl. "Anyway, are you finished already? You never seem to eat anything at lunch time."

"Now, now, Hitoyoshi-san," said Shiranui. "No matter how black-hearted I am, it's not like I have an actual black hole inside me. A petite girl like myself only needs so much at meal times."

"Maybe it's because you eat so little that you're so small yourself?"

"I said petite."

"It's the same-"

"**Hitoyoshi-san**. Petite is petite. Small is small. I am petite. Understand?"

"Yes, Shiranui-sama."

「Heh, bold font twice in under five minutes.」 Kumagawa snickered. 「You're as hopeless with girls as ever, Zenkichi-chan.」

"I am not hopeless! I … wait, what do you mean by bold font?"

「If you have to ask, Zenkichi-chan, you won't get it. Anyway,」 Kumagawa glanced down at his wrist. 「While I hate to cut our time together short, it seems I need to be making tracks.」 Rising from his seat, Kumagawa waved at Zenkichi and Shiranui, before turning his attention to Aso. 「Tanzaku-chan, let's do this again next week, okay?」

"Yes, Captain."

「Hooray! Well, bye now!」 Kumagawa all but skipped out of the cafeteria, heedless of the stares his behavior was attracting.

"Hitoyoshi-san."

"Yes, Shiranui?"

"Kumagawa-sempai does not wear a watch, does he?"

"No, Shiranui."

"Best not to ask, I imagine?"

"Yeah, that's probably the best policy when it comes to Kumagawa. How're you holding up, Aso-sempai?"

"Fine, fine. Once a week I can handle. I don't mind the stares."

"Are you sure you-"

"I don't mind the stares!"

"Ku ku ku, what a lively table. Mind if I take a seat?"

Zenkichi looked up. Standing behind Kumagawa's vacated seat was a girl with purple eyes, light green hair, and a distinctly cat-like air.

"As the cafeteria is unusually crowded today," she said, gesturing to the tables surrounding them. "Would it be alright if I sat with you?"

The girl was looking at Zenkichi as she asked. Zenkichi glanced at the others. Shiranui was drinking from her thermos, but Aso looked as though she was trying to very slightly move her head.

_Is that a nod or a shake?_

"…Yes?" Zenkichi hazarded.

"Thank you!" said the girl, taking a seat. Zenkichi glanced back at Aso. She was glaring at him.

"I'm Nekomi Nabeshima," continued the girl, introducing herself. "Senior, Class 11."

"Nabeshima-san," said Aso dryly. "How nice to see you."

"Nya~ so cold, Aso-chan! We're in the same year, we should get along! Aren't you going to introduce me to your cute friends?"

"Very well. On the left is Zenkichi Hitoyoshi, and on the right is Hanhaba Shiranui. They're both freshmen of Class 1."

"Oh? Zenkichi Hitoyoshi?" Nabeshima raised an eyebrow. "The Freshman Typhoon?"

Zenkichi grimaced.

Shiranui smirked. "Nabeshima-sempai, are you being coy with us? I'm sure you knew who Hitoyoshi-san was when you approached the table."

Nabeshima blinked, then chuckled. "You're a sharp one, aren't you, Shiranui-chan. Well, no point beating around the bush then, is there?" She turned to Zenkichi. "Hitoyoshi-kun, I heard about what happened with Kanoya and his crew. That's pretty impressive. Want to join the Judo Club?"

Zenkichi stated at her. "…The Judo Club?"

Nabeshima giggled and leaned back in her seat. "Sorry, sorry, I guess that was a bit sudden. I wanted to take my time, but Shiranui-chan caught me off guard. Let's try this again. Hello, Freshman Typhoon Hitoyoshi-kun, I'm Nekomi Nabeshima, captain of the Judo Club. Become my disciple."

"Wait, wait," Zenkichi waved his hands in front of him. "Nabeshima-sempai, slow down. What's all this? You're the captain of the Judo Club? And you want me to … what, exactly?"

"Become my disciple," Nabeshima repeated. "I'm graduating this year, so I'm looking for someone to succeed me as captain." She pointed at Zenkichi. "And I pick you, Hitoyoshi-kun. Give me half a year and I'll make you stronger than a second dan."

"Uh … well, Nabeshima-san, I'm flattered, but I'm not really interested in becoming a Judo practitioner."

A pause.

"Okay then," said Nabeshima.

"What? That's it?" Aso spluttered. "No way you're giving up just like that!"

"And why not, Aso-chan?" asked Nabeshima. "If Hitoyoshi-kun isn't interested in Judo, then I can't very well force him to join the club, now can I? Anyway, Hitoyoshi-kun," Nabeshima turned back to him. "If you feel like changing your mind, come stop by the Judo Club some time."

Rising from her chair, Nabeshima threw them a jaunty wave and sauntered off.

"Well, she seemed … what?" asked Zenkichi, wilting under the glare Aso was giving him.

"You are an idiot, Hitoyoshi-san," Shiranui sighed. She raised her hand, cutting him off before he could protest. "Nabeshima-sempai is known as the King of Fouls in the Judo world. She takes any measures necessary to get what she wants, and what she wants now is _you_."

"I don't think-" Zenkichi started.

"One," said Aso. "She approached our table as soon as the captain left. She was waiting for him to leave. Two, she said was looking for a place to sit and eat. Yet she had no tray or any food with her. And three, all these full tables around us? They're full of members of the Judo Club." Aso shook her head. "Geez, Hitoyoshi-kun. Why do you think I didn't want her to sit with us?"

"I couldn't tell what you were doing!" Zenkichi protested. "Besides, aren't you guys being paranoid? Okay, so maybe she was adamant on having me join the club, but it's just like she said: she can't force me to join if I don't want to."

"You really believe that, don't you, Hitoyoshi-kun?" Aso groaned. "I bet the captain left on purpose. He probably noticed what Nabeshima was doing."

"Indeed, that does sound like something Kumagawa-sempai would do," Shiranui agreed. "Hitoyoshi-san, if our words will not convince you, then just look at Kumagawa-sempai's actions. He most likely deduced Nabeshima-sempai's intentions as the number of Judo Club members around us grew, and abandoned you to her when he felt the time was right."

"Okay, now I know you two are being paranoid," said Zenkichi firmly. "Kumagawa may be clever, but … okay, yeah, he could probably figure something like this out if he put his mind to it. Still, if Nabeshima-sempai really had any bad intentions, I'm sure he'd help me out."

Aso and Shiranui exchanged glances.

"Must be nice, having the innocence to deny thirteen years of evidence to the contrary."

"Ah, I wish I was a freshman again…"

"Will you two stop making fun of me, please?"

-ooo-

"See!" said Zenkichi triumphantly. "Twenty-four hours, and nothing happened."

"Must be nice, having the innocence to deny thirteen years of evidence to the contrary."

"Ah, I wish I was a freshman again…"

"Don't just repeat what you said yesterday!" Put out by his friends' lack of faith in him, Zenkichi chewed moodily on his lunch.

It was lunch again, and he had heard nothing from either the Judo Club in general or Nekomi Nabeshima in particular. Kumagawa had not made an appearance at lunch though, which Zenkichi found worrying. An unsupervised Kumagawa was a bigger cause for concern than anything a so-called King of Fouls could cook up.

"If you are quite done tempting fate, Hitoyoshi-san," said Shiranui. "You might wish to direct your attention to the front of the room, and see what a so-called King of Fouls can cook up."

Zenkichi's turned his head slowly to stare at Shiranui. "Can … can you read minds?"

"No, Hitoyoshi-san, you just wear your heart on your sleeve. Now, once more, to the front."

Zenkichi turned to the front of the cafeteria. A well-built young man with spiky brown hair was waving his hands, calling for the students' attention.

"Attention everyone! The Judo Club would like to make an announcement!"

"Uh-oh," muttered Aso. "Brace yourself, Hitoyoshi-kun. Here it comes."

"Aso-sempai, I'm sure it's unrelated," said Zenkichi, taking a drink from a bottle of water.

"Freshman student Zenkichi Hitoyoshi," the boy shouted, "Has agreed to join the Judo Club-"

The mouthful of water sprayed across the table.

"-via gauntlet challenge!"

"What?" spluttered Zenkichi, water dripping down his face. "Via what? What! What just happened?"

"Ooh," said Shiranui. "They got you, Hitoyoshi-san. Nabeshima-sempai is cleverer than I realized."

"Now, _wait_," Zenkichi insisted. "He _must_ be talking about someone else."

"I'm sure everyone here has heard of Zenkichi Hitoyoshi by now," the boy continued. "Called the Freshman Typhoon, he defeated a mob of upperclassman single-handedly."

"No, they got you, Hitoyoshi-san. Stand up, take a bow. You might as well run with it at this point."

"_Stand up?_ I'm thinking of sliding off my seat and crawling away! What the _hell_ are the Judo Club playing at?"

By this point other students were starting to stare at him, pointing him out to their friends and whispering to one another.

The boy went on to explain how the gauntlet challenge would work: Zenkichi Hitoyoshi was going to be unofficially attacked anywhere he went on campus until he agreed to join the Judo Club. If he was defeated, he would be made to _try out_ for the Judo Club. This was an unprecedented event in the history of the Hakoniwa Academy martial arts clubs, and by the time the boy had finished speaking, most of the students had taken their eyes off of him and were staring at the freshman seated at the table in left corner of the cafeteria.

And as for the freshman himself?

"Bargrle."

Words had failed him.

"Don't look so distraught, Hitoyoshi-kun," Aso consoled. "You're the Freshman Typhoon after all, and Nabeshima-san specifically chose you to be her successor. I doubt there's anyone in the Judo Club who can get the drop on you, and even if there is, it's just a school club. The attacks are hardly going to be dangerous, just a nuisance." Aso paused and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Actually, considering you seem to have a problem holding yourself back, try not to let yourself be surprised. It could cause trouble if you were to accidentally hit someone too hard."

"Actually, Aso-sempai, Hitoyoshi-san's strength is exactly the problem," said Shiranui. "The better he fights, the more Nabeshima-sempai will want him, and the better class of fighter is going to be sent after him."

Zenkichi groaned. "Aso-sempai, Shiranui, I apologize for ever doubting you."

Zenkichi did not get the chance to finish his lunch. The first member of the Judo Club to attack him did so before he had even finished eating.

A surprise attack in the cafeteria. In retaliation, Zenkichi surprised him with an open bottle of juice down his shirt. Open cap first.

The second attack came on his way to class from a junior girl. Zenkichi saw her coming and got out of the way. A fist punched a hole where it shouldn't have, a teacher came running before Zenkichi could make himself scarce, and the Student Council was called.

Koga told him to do his best and, not seeing a clear way out of the problem herself, promised to talk to Kurokami-san and see what could be done.

Next was a senior about as wide as he was tall. Some light footwork on Zenkichi's part, and the giant put his foot through a waste paper basket, and was dragged off for destroying academy property.

And there was the end of Zenkichi Hitoyoshi's first day of the gauntlet challenge.

-ooo-

The rumor mill had begun to turn again. Suddenly everyone knew who Zenkichi Hitoyoshi was; the Freshman Typhoon who thought convention was too bland a method for joining a martial arts club.

Shiranui informed Zenkichi in class that morning that money was starting to change hands over how long he would last. Shaking down the bookies proved unrewarding. Not only would no one tell him how many people were left on the Judo Club's side, he was not allowed to place a wager on himself either.

Not long after that came attack number four, in the form of a pair of twins from the second year. After a great deal of running about with a lot of dipping and ducking, one brother punched out the other, and while checking on his twin, was dispatched with a solid kick to the backside.

There was another attack in the cafeteria. It ended with a hand in a bowl of hot soup, which Zenkichi found funny in a vindictive way. The Judo Club was sending better members though, each attack more worrisome than the one before it.

Shiranui explained that there was now a _lot_ of money on the table, and that even the seniors were starting to pay attention. Aso pointed out that sooner or later someone was going to try to fix the betting pool, and told Zenkichi to watch out for Kumagawa. Zenkichi worried how many days he could last before he was going to seriously have to hit someone back.

The sixth attack was another team effort. Two junior girls tried to lure him into a dark corner with promises of … cake, Zenkichi would say later. Zenkichi faked tripping over his own feet and landed a headbutt that took one out immediately, and then once again booted the second opponent while she tried to check on her friend.

The seventh attack was not an attack at all. A classmate asked Zenkichi if he could check his notes; Zenkichi punched him in the stomach. He was thoroughly told off by Shiranui for bullying a classmate who couldn't fight, was made to apologize to Hyuga, and the Student Council was called again.

Koga was less sympathetic this time, and told him it was his own fault and to stop disrupting classes. She admitted that she had yet to come up with anything herself, and Kurokami-san was busy dealing with a case of hazing/vandalism within the Athletics Club.

The actual seventh attack was something of an anticlimax. Zenkichi was challenged by a senior. He told the upperclassman that he would return to fight him in a moment, walked around a corner, and then ran away as fast as he could. It didn't take long for his opponent to realize what had happened, but by that time Zenkichi had found a secluded room in the west wing, and decided to bunker down in there until the heat cooled off.

"What are you doing here?"

Zenkichi glanced up; taking an actual look at his surroundings, he realized he must have entered a clubroom. The room, brightly lit, was filled with easels, paper, and bevy of brightly colored items: pencils, pens, paints, chalks, and more. As for the question, it had come from the room's only other occupant, who stood in front of an easel, his back Zenkichi.

Zenkichi coughed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, then realized there wasn't much point in acting contrite if no one was looking.

"Ah … sorry. Is this a clubroom?"

"Yes. This room is for members of the Art Club only."

"Oh. Well, hey, could you do me a favor? I'm … ah, kinda in a bit of a fix, and I could really use a place to hide right now. I'll be quiet," he added quickly as the other student tensed.

"Very well."

"Wow, you mean it? Devil awesome! Thanks." Now that he no longer had to fear getting kicked out, Zenkichi took the chance to examine the other boy. He was roughly his own height, but rather than the academy's uniform, the boy was wearing a dark green jacket and matching pants, though it still appeared to be some school's uniform. He had long hair, reaching his mid-back, dyed an assortment of colors, though dark pink was the most prominent.

Zenkichi cleared his throat. "Um, okay, uh, are you the club's captain? I mean, you're the only guy here, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble…"

The other boy continued painting. "You said you'd be quiet," he said in monotone, not turning around.

"Ah … well…"

"I am not the club's captain. However, I am currently the only member who uses this room, so there should be no problems with you being here."

"Really? Is there some other place that the Art Club prefers?"

"I do not know. However, as I forced all the other members to vacate this room at the start of term, I imagine they must have found somewhere else to work by now."

Zenkichi wasn't sure how to respond to that. Who was this person? His uniform was definitely from another school, so a transfer student? But had he heard correctly? The transfer student had _forced_ the rest of the Art Club from their clubroom?

"Um, I hate to ask, but … ah, what is your name?"

"…Fude Ezumachi."

**Fude Ezumachi**

**Junior: Class 13**

**Blood Type: AB**

**Transfer Student**

"Okay, right, I'm Zenkichi Hitoyoshi. Anyway, Ezumachi-san, did I hear you correctly? You forced the other members out?"

"They were a distraction," said Ezumachi. "They were bad for my art."

Zenkichi considered this, then mentally shrugged.

_Artists._

"Okay then. Nothing to do with me. Guess I'll leave you to it then."

"If you would."

Deciding he best get going before a member of the Judo Club found him (he'd hate to see how Ezumachi would react to a distraction like that) Zenkichi made to leave. He would have to tell Koga about this. While he had nothing to do with the Art Club, that one member had forced all the others out seemed a bit extreme.

The door slid open.

Zenkichi jerked back, fight or flight response already primed.

Behind him, Ezumachi picked up a tube of gray paint.

"Hitoyoshi-san? What a surprise to meet you here." Shiranui stepped into the room, sliding the door shut quietly behind her. "I had no idea you were interested in art."

"Shiranui…" Zenkichi relaxed, releasing the breath he had been holding. "You have no idea how happy I am to see a friendly face."

"So noisy today…" grumbled Ezumachi. He did not put down the tube of paint.

"My sincerest apologizes, Ezumachi-sempai," Shiranui said to his back, bowing from the waist.

"Ezumachi-sempai? Shiranui, you know this guy?"

"This guy, Hitoyoshi-san, is a junior, so show some respect. He is also one of the only students of his class who attends school," Shiranui rose from her bow and smiled. "As a student, he should be praised."

"What?" Zenkichi glanced between her and Ezumachi's back, expression quizzical. "What do you mean, he's one of the only members of his class who attends school?"

"Exactly what I said. Ezumachi-san is the only junior of Class 13 who attends school on a regular basis. There is one freshman and one senior of Class 13 who also attend, but those three are the only ones."

"Seriously?" Zenkichi gazed worriedly at Ezumachi. He leaned down to Shiranui's ear. "Shiranui," he whispered. "I heard Class 13 was full of weirdoes, and this guy is definitely weird. Before you got here, he was telling me-"

"I can hear you, Hitoyoshi-san," Ezumachi called over his shoulder.

Zenkichi straightened with a decidedly un-masculine squeak.

"Please do not be concerned, Hitoyoshi-san," said Shiranui, patting his arm reassuringly. "I am well aware of who Ezumachi-sempai is. Anyway, do you really have time to be concerned about your friends? There is a senior from the Judo Club stalking the hallways with a simply murderous expression on his face."

"Ugh, of course there is." Zenkichi sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "It would be too much to hope he would just give up."

"If you are so concerned, Hitoyoshi-san, why don't you just challenge Jounan-sempai and be done with it?"

"Well, obviously that- wait, what? What about challenging who?"

Shiranui gave Zenkichi a long stare. "Jounan-sempai. The vice-captain of the Judo Club. As the one who issued the gauntlet challenge, if you defeat him, the challenge ends. Why did you think Nabeshima-sempai did not make the announcement herself?"

_If you feel like changing your mind, come stop by the Judo Club some time._

"Shiranui, what's the quickest way to the Judo Club from here?"

"Is that anyway to ask?"

"Shiranui-sama, please tell this humble fool how to reach the Judo Club."

"That's better." Shiranui pulled out a folded slip of paper from her uniform. "A hand drawn map of the school, with the written directions and the quickest route marked down."

"…You can read minds, can't you?"

"I merely like to stay informed. Now you might want to get going. I would like to have a private word with Ezumachi-sempai."

"Got it! Thanks, Shiranui! Ezumachi-sempai, thanks for your help – I owe you one!" Zenkichi ran out of the Art Club room, and straight into the senior he had left standing in the hallway. Murderous was an apt description for his expression.

-ooo-

"Ku ku ku, so you came, Hitoyoshi-kun. Well, I do like the go-getter types. You're looking a bit run down though."

The senior with the murderous expression had been only the first of _six_ members of the Judo Club Zenkichi had run into on his way to the Judo Hall. The map had not been hand drawn; it was the usual map handed out to visitors, if the label of "YOU ARE HERE" over the chairman's office was anything to go by. Likewise, no specific route to the Judo Hall had been marked out. Zenkichi tried to glare at Nabeshima, but the best he could manage was a grimace as he tried to catch his breath.

For her part, Nabeshima did not seem at all surprised by Zenkichi's arrival, leaning against the wall without a care in the world. Rather than the uniform she had been wearing in the cafeteria, she was now dressed in the white attire of a Judo practitioner.

"Hitoyoshi-san, glad to see you!" The boisterous greeting came from behind Zenkichi; he turned to see approaching the same young man with spiky hair who had sprung the gauntlet challenge on him the day before. Like Nabeshima, he was now wearing the uniform of the Judo Club. "I take it you're here to challenge me?"

"Yeah, yeah. You're Jounan-sempai right? I take you down and this nonsense ends?"

"Nonsense? What a thing to say, Hitoyoshi-kun!" Nabeshima gasped, pushing herself away from the wall. "The gauntlet challenge is a sacred Judo tradition."

"Are you kidding? You've just had people attacking me for the last two days! What does _any_ of that have to do with Judo?"

Nabeshima shrugged. "Eh, I had to work with what I had. Anyway, we got Chairman Shiranui's approval, so it's all good."

"Right!" Jounan thundered, making Zenkichi jump. The other boy had managed to sneak up on him while he had been talking to Nabeshima. "Hitoyoshi-san, I've heard all about you from the captain! Let's have a good match, alright?" He stuck out a hand for Zenkichi to shake.

Zenkichi did so, warily. "Sure. You're a lot friendlier than those guys you sent after me, Jounan-sempai."

Jounan laughed. "Nah, it was the captain who picked who would be fighting you. She wanted to get you here as quickly as possible."

Zenkichi glared over his shoulder.

Nabeshima whistled innocently.

"Anyway, Hitoyoshi-san, there's a uniform and a place for you to get changed right over there," said Jounan, pointing with his thumb.

"Get changed?" repeated Zenkichi.

"Of course!" said Nabeshima. "This is the sacred Judo Hall we're standing in, Hitoyoshi-kun. How else would we settle our differences except with a proper Judo match?"

Zenkichi opened his mouth, then closed it. He turned and entered the room Jounan had indicated. Nabeshima and Jounan watched him go.

"You have something to say, Jounan-kun?"

"To be honest, Captain, I was pretty skeptical when you first suggested this scheme to me, but I must admit that I'm starting to get curious."

"Oh?" Nabeshima raised an eyebrow. "About Hitoyoshi-kun?"

Jounan nodded. "Going by that handshake, he's strong, even if he doesn't know much about Judo. But then why hasn't he joined a martial arts club yet?"

"Ku ku ku. If you can beat him, maybe you'll find out?"

Jounan laughed. "If? Captain, I might not be able to match you, but I'm not the vice-captain for nothing you know. Nationals in individual competition, remember?"

Nabeshima frowned. "Don't get cocky, Jounan-kun. I don't want to hear that from an idiot who lets himself get distracted and loses every time he fights a girl."

"No worries, Captain! You're the only girl here today, and you have no "distractions" to speak of!"

"Alright, I'm ready," said Zenkichi, stepping out. "So, can we get start- is everything alright?"

Jounan was huddled up on his knees, arms wrapped around his middle.

"Nothing at all, Hitoyoshi-kun," was Nabeshima's cheerful answer. "Just give Jounan-kun here," she cracked her knuckles, "a minute to catch his breath, and then we'll begin."

"All … alright."

"Very good. We'll be going with house rules to make this an even match, okay, Hitoyoshi-kun? No time plus ten points versus no time plus one point. All you need to do is get one point before Jounan-kun gets ten, and it's your win. You ready, Jounan-kun?"

"Ye-yeah." Jounan rose to his feet, rubbing his stomach with a pained expression. "I'm ready."

"I'm set to go too," said Zenkichi. "But, Nabeshima-san?"

"Yes, Hitoyoshi-kun?"

"I don't know what you have planned, but don't think this match will just go exactly as you expect it to."

-ooo-

The match went exactly as Nabeshima expected it to; nine points later, an exhausted Zenkichi had still to topple Jounan.

"Hitoyoshi-san," said Jounan. "I'll praise your performance today. It's hard for a beginner not to cheat; after all, there's no such thing as a lucky punch in Judo. You've fought like a true warrior. I had my doubts before, but now I'm sure you'll make an excellent member of the Judo Club."

"Hey, Jounan-sempai, not to sound cocky or anything," Zenkichi inhaled and stood firm. "But you haven't beaten me yet."

Jounan's eyebrows rose in surprise, then he grinned wide. "Great! That's the right attitude, Hitoyoshi-san! Alright, here I come!"

Jounan charged Zenkichi.

Zenkichi charged Jounan.

And a very disheveled Koga burst into the Judo Hall.

"Hitoyoshi-kun!"

Jounan took one look at Koga, stopped in mid-charge, and started drooling.

Zenkichi, though he recognized the voice, could not stop himself from reflexively whipping his head around toward the source of the noise.

_Crunch._

"Jounan, you idiot!" Nabeshima snarled. "Don't get distracted now!"

"Hmm? What? Oh … oh! Right!" Jounan remembered himself, and turned back to the mat. "Hitoyoshi-san, lets continue the- Hitoyoshi-san?"

Zenkichi lay on motionless on the mat. He raised one trembling hand off the floor. "I … _ah_ … I surrender. It's your win, Jounan-sempai."

"Eh? Hitoyoshi-kun?"

"Um, Hitoyoshi-san?"

"Nya~? Hitoyoshi-kun?"

"Ah … if someone could call … ah … the nurse's office, I'd … ah … really appreciate it."

"Are you alright, Hitoyoshi-san?"

"Ye_ah_ … I'm … I'm good, thank you. Just … ah … seem to have pulled something in my neck."

"Oh?" Jounan walked over to Zenkichi and crouched down to look at him. "Something with your neck? Here, let me take a look…"

"Ah … I'd rather you didn't…"

_Crunch._

"Gah! Ah! Ah! Ah! My neck! My neck! …My neck … my neck…" Zenkichi rubbed his neck in bewilderment. "Feels … great?"

Jounan puffed out his chest proudly. "I'm the vice-captain of the Judo Club. This much is nothing. Now, let's finish our-"

"No need for that, Jounan-kun." Nabeshima sauntered over to the pair. "Hitoyoshi-kun, that girl would like to have a word with you." She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. "I'll let you off today, but in future, you talk to your friends on your own time."

"Well, sure, Nabeshima-sempai, but- ow!"

Nabeshima smacked him on the head.

"Nya~ Hitoyoshi-kun, it's "Captain" from now on. You're a member of the Judo Club – start acting like it."

"Eh? But, Captain, Hitoyoshi-san and I have yet to finish our match-"

"What'cha talking about, Jounan-kun? Hitoyoshi-kun said "I surrender" didn't he? It's your win. Of course," she continued before either boy could protest. "Seeing as there was an interruption, we can have another match if Hitoyoshi-kun insists." She eyed Zenkichi as a cat would a mouse. "Want to have a try with me, Hitoyoshi-kun?"

Zenkichi glanced at Jounan. As their eyes met, the older boy shook his head vehemently.

"Ah … no, that's alright, Nabe … Captain. It's my loss."

"Very good, Hitoyoshi-kun! Welcome to the Judo Club. We'll introduce you to everyone you haven't beaten up yet tomorrow. And we'll have to come up with a new title for you as well…" Nabeshima cocked her head to the side. "Well, seeing as I'm the King of Fouls, you can be-"

"No way!"

"…Hitoyoshi-kun?"

"Ah, sorry … Captain. For a second I thought you were going to call me the Prince of Judo, and I got really angry all of a sudden."

"Well, we can figure out the billing later." Nabeshima waved her hand dismissively. "Alright, go see what the girl from the Student Council wants. Jounan-kun, come help me find the paperwork for new members."

After his new captain and vice-captain left, Zenkichi picked himself off the floor and walked over to Koga. He rubbed his neck again. It really did feel better.

"Koga-sempai, what's up?"

"Hitoyoshi-kun, are you alright?" Koga looked him over in worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've spent the last thirteen years covering for the weakest guy in the world, so I bounce back from this sort of thing in a snap. Seems the Judo thing's sorted itself out too, so thanks, but I don't need you to go out of your way to help me."

"Well actually, Hitoyoshi-kun … I need your help."

"You need my help? Look, I'm sorry Koga-sempai, but after the last two days all I want to do now is … what happened to you?"

A closer look revealed Koga to be in worse shape than he had realized. She was dirty, battered, bruised, and looked thoroughly worn out.

"What is the net for?"

"Ah well, like I said earlier, Kurokami-san is currently doing some investigation at the Athletics Club. I would ask her for help otherwise, really! But, since she's busy…" Koga's eyes grew large and shiny.

"Alright, alright! It's nothing as over the top as last time, right? Or else Kurokami-san wouldn't have given you the assignment?"

"Right, right!" said Koga, nodding enthusiastically. "It's an easy job this time around, Hitoyoshi-kun. We just need to catch a runaway dog."

"…Really? That's all? Well, that doesn't sound nearly as bad as I thought it would."

And that was how Zenkichi Hitoyoshi, after having spent his day being chased by the members of the Judo Club, spent his afternoon chasing a Russian wolfhound.

-ooo-

Shiranui stepped out of the Art Club room, closing the door quietly so as not to disturb the painter inside. She glanced down and adjusted her now pink shirt.

"The color better wear off … can I help you, Kumagawa-sempai?"

「What? How did you know I was there, Hanhaba-chan? Can you read minds?」

Shiranui turned around to face Kumagawa, chuckling as she did so. "My goodness, you and Hitoyoshi-san are in sync even when you are apart. No wonder the two of you are such good friends. But to answer your question, I just stay alert. Now, once again, is there anything I can help you with?"

Kumagawa shrugged. 「Maybe. Hear me out, and then give me your answer. But give it some thought when you do, Hanhaba-chan.」 Kumagawa's smile turned predatory. 「Depending on what you tell me, I might have to get serious with you.」

"As serious as you were with Kanoya-sempai?" Shiranui asked sweetly.

「Which brings me to my first point. Kanoya-chan. Why was Itami-chan the one who went to deal with him? Was Medaka-chan really unaware of all the complaints? Of the damages? Of what her former competition was up to? Seems a bit suspect, don't you think, Hanhaba-chan?」

"Really? I find that surprising, Kumagawa-sempai. Are you perhaps worried that the princess of the Kurokami Group cannot take off herself?"

「Second point,」 Kumagawa continued as if she hadn't spoken. 「The chairman authorized the Judo Club to basically ignore half the academy rules for two days, for the sake of a gauntlet challenge. No club's ever had a gauntlet challenge before. I can't help but think that was part of someone's plotting.」

"I'm only one member of the chairman's very large family, Kumagawa-sempai. You cannot expect me know what he is thinking."

「That depends, Hanhaba-chan,」 Kumagawa replied. 「Though I don't know why, I've never had an easy time of it with other people. So the few friends I do have are very important to me. And if were to discover that my most important friend was being used for unsavory ends, I'd be very sad. I just might cry.」

"Are you implying something, Kumagawa-sempai?"

「Do you know who Toru Nanamine is, Hanhaba-chan?」

"No."

「What? You don't? He was from the creators of _Death Note_!」

"…Kumagawa-sempai, to be honest, most of your references are beyond my comprehension. But if I could give you some advice? Have you ever considered that your most important friend might be used for unsavory ends because he is your most important friend?"

「…What?」

"No need to be humble, Kumagawa-sempai. I know all about the "incident" three years ago. When Kurokami-san managed to beat down an unbeatable opponent, and you managed something even more amazing by defeating her."

「…I think you have the wrong idea, Hanhaba-chan. There's no way an average guy like me could defeat Medaka-chan. Do you think there's something wrong with her?」

"Among other things. I do not have any problem with Medaka Kurokami at the moment, Kumagawa-sempai. You could say the reason I'm here is to correct her problems with herself. But as long as she is a student at Hakoniwa Academy, there is one thing Kurokami-san absolutely must not do."

「One thing she absolutely must not do? Is it related to that transfer student? The other member of Class 13?」

"You are half right. But there is really no need to go into the details. In a perfect world, I would never need to involve either you or Hitoyoshi-san in this matter. So, let us keep our fingers crossed, shall we, Kumagawa-sempai?"

Having said her piece, Shiranui made to walk past Kumagawa, only to be stopped by his hand on her shoulder.

「As I've said before, Hanhaba-chan, two or three decades is the only thing that keeps you out of strike zone. So I'll believe you for now. However,」 Kumagawa bent down to Shiranui's level.

For an instant, Shiranui didn't see Kumagawa's face; rather, a pool of blackness out of which two empty white eyes and an empty white smile leered at her. 「If you do hurt Zenkichi-chan…」

"_You're screwed._"

「So,」 said Kumagawa, pulling away. 「Don't make trouble for him, okay? You're still a freshman after all, Hanhaba-chan. If you get a bad reputation now, you'll have a hard time of it for the next three years.」 A wave, and Kumagawa strode off, a literal bounce in his steps.

Shiranui watched him go; once he was out of sight, she sank to the floor.

"Honestly, I am getting too old for this," she wheezed. "Misogi Kumagawa … the Abnormal greater than Abnormal. Okay, I will leave you alone for now. But even if I do not act, it is inevitable that you will come into conflict with the Student Council. Opposites attract after all." Shiranui rose to her feet, steadying herself against the wall. "Now then, the Abnormal who has reached their full potential, and the Abnormal who has unlimited potential. I wonder which will take center stage first…"


	4. We Should Try To Get Along, Right?

**Author's Note**: Spoiler alert, Fude Ezumachi features prominently in this chapter. I've re-watched "Execute the Student Council" a few times and read the relevant wiki articles, but there really isn't enough of him shown that I cannot but take a few liberties with the character. So, everybody write a review and tell me how I managed, okay? Thank you.

**Disclaimer**: Medaka Box is the property of Nisio Isin and Akira Akatsuki. The author is making no profit by this work.

* * *

**Chapter Three: We Should Try To Get Along, Right?**

"Look who I found!"

「Tanzaku-chan! Itami-chan!」 Kumagawa waved the two girls to the table. 「Come, sit, sit!」

Aso moved to take a seat with practiced confidence. Behind her, Koga made her way more carefully, shying away from the equipment strewn about the clubroom. Even after taking a seat, she continued to stare in wide-eyed amazement at her surroundings.

Kumagawa let her stare, swelling in obvious pride at the effect the Broadcast Club's room had on a visitor.

"Kumagawa-sempai, doesn't the Broadcast Club have any proper storage space?"

Kumagawa deflated. 「That's all?」

"Eh…" Koga flailed in the face of Kumagawa's dejection. "I mean, most of the other clubs I've been to seem to have separate areas for members to meet and for equipment to be stored."

"Ah, sorry, Koga-san," said Aso, looking about the clubroom. "That may be the case for the bigger clubs, but the Broadcast Club just doesn't have the numbers to warrant more space."

Koga raised a quizzical eyebrow. "But you have so much equipment!"

Aso shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Campus space is doled out based on the length of the members list we submit at the beginning of the year; club property isn't taken into account accept in extreme cases, and our clubroom was a … I mean, is large enough to be a storage room."

「Never fear, Tanzaku-chan!」 Kumagawa's fist slammed onto the table top, causing both girls to jump. 「A revival is just around the corner! You'll see; as soon as the first school-wide event comes around, the Broadcast Club will burst onto the academy scene! Our voices shall be heard across the campus, with the latest scores, running commentary, and advertisements for local stores and restaurants!」

"…Captain, do you remember our agreement?"

「Of course, Tanzaku-chan! I never forget a promise with a cute girl. Rested assured, I will leave the speaker system to my cute underclassmen.」

Aso eyed Kumagawa suspiciously. Kumagawa smiled back. Their staring match was interrupted by muffled giggling.

"I'm sorry," Koga mumbled, blushing even as a few more giggles slipped out. "I wish I'd known about the Broadcast Club last year. You all seem to have so much fun!"

Kumagawa _beamed_.

「Oho, what's this? Do you perhaps want to join-」

"Cut it out, Captain," said Aso. "You know Koga-san is with the Student Council." She turned to Koga. "Anyway, Koga-san, I think you're giving us too much credit. We might look like we're always goofing off, but as the captain said, its hard work come school events. Most people don't realize how much of a production goes on behind the scenes."

Koga tilted her head to the side. "Well, if you say so, Aso-sempai. But if no one realizes what goes on behind the scenes, doesn't that mean that everyone in the club is doing their job right?"

Aso stared at Koga in slack-jawed amazement, then burst into tears. "Koga-chan!" she wailed. "No one ever compliments the Broadcast Club! Forget the Student Council, come join us!"

「Totally! Totally!」 Kumagawa agreed. 「How can you say no to a face like this, Itami-chan?」

Koga's head swung back a forth between the two of them, trying to decide who to answer first. "Uh … we-well," she stammered.

The clubroom door burst open.

「Uniform, black as opposed to the usual white. Skirt, at regulation length. Jacket, modest (would look better with a window at chest level). Left sleeve, decorated with several armbands. Red ribbon in place of the usual tie. That hair, that flair, those _ballistics_, it's none other than Hakoniwa Academy's Student Council vice-president, Medaka Kurokami-chan!」

"…Captain, we can all see who it is. You didn't need to narrate."

「I'm keeping in form, Tanzaku-chan! Never know when my duties as Broadcast Club captain will be called upon.」 Kumagawa coughed and turned his head to the side. 「And it can't hurt to show off in front of the girl who controls club funds…」 he mumbled into his hand.

Medaka's eyes swept across the clubroom, taking note of everything inside with a single glance, before settling on her subordinate. "General Affairs Manager Koga-san," she said.

"Yes!" Koga cried, jumping to her feet in such haste she nearly fell over. "Yes!" she repeated after steadying herself. "What is it, Kurokami-san?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but the Student Council has received a request for which I would like your assistance," Medaka stated. She turned to the members of the Broadcast Club. "My apologies, third year Aso-san, Kumagawa-sempai. I'm afraid I will be taking General Affairs Manager Koga-san with me."

"…Ah … no, no problem," said Aso, shaking her head. "Sorry for keeping her."

"Very good," said Medaka, nodding. She turned to leave. "General Affairs Manager Koga-san, I'll explain on the way, so let's-"

「Why don't you explain now, Medaka-chan?」

Medaka froze in mid-step, then turned back to the room. Kumagawa had risen from his chair and met her gaze, ignoring Aso's scandalized expression and Koga's confused one.

"I apologize, Kumagawa-sempai," said Medaka. "But this is a request by another student, and it would not be appropriate for me to share-"

「Let me guess. Is it from the Art Club? Concerning a transfer student?」

Medaka's eyes narrowed. "You seem well informed, Kumagawa-sempai."

「Not really.」 Kumagawa shrugged. 「But I do know a freshman girl who is.」

"Very well then," said Medaka, stepping away from the door. She made her way to the table without pause and took a seat, gesturing for those standing to do the same. "Since it seems you're already acquainted with this incident anyway, it won't hurt to indulge your curiosity. General Affairs Manager Koga-san, please listen closely."

Koga nodded without comment, though her gaze wavered curiously between Medaka and Kumagawa.

"Classmate Yuubaru-san of the Art Club contacted me personally a few days ago, concerning one Fude Ezumachi, a second year transfer student from Suisou Academy. It seems he should be a third year, but there was some trouble concerning his departure, and his studies were not completed to the standard needed for passing. Classmate Yuubaru-san is not familiar with the exact circumstances, but it seems second year Ezumachi-san is the antisocial type. Within his first week, he expelled all members of the Art Club from their clubroom, and has since been using the club's facilities and supplies exclusively for himself. While I advised classman Yuubaru-san to take this matter up with the faculty, it seems there are some extenuating circumstances concerning second year Ezumachi-san on account of his class allocation." Medaka paused to take a breath, looking annoyed. "In return for looking into this case, classmate Yuubaru-san has agreed to help with a separate matter concerning a third year student and her handwriting." Medaka waved her hand dismissively.

"So, what exactly are we doing, Kurokami-san?" asked Koga.

"Settling second year Ezumachi-san's differences with the Art Club," Medaka answered. "Regardless of his personality type, he cannot be allowed to use an entire clubroom for his sole satisfaction.

「Sounds like you're the same as always, Medaka-chan.」 said Kumagawa.

"Is that so? You sound relieved, Kumagawa-sempai." Medaka replied.

「Of course I am! I was genuinely worried about you, Medaka-chan. Zenkichi-chan told me you were okay, but it's still reassuring to see it with my own eyes.」

"I'm not such a delicate girl that I need you to worry about me, Kumagawa-sempai. If you're satisfied, may General Affairs Manager Koga-san and I take our leave now?"

「Sure, sure, go right ahead. The Broadcast Club captain can't deny the Student Council vice-president after all.」 Kumagawa leaned back in his chair and made a shooing motion with his hands.

"…If you still have concerns, why don't you join us, Kumagawa-sempai?"

"Eh?" cried Aso and Koga together.

"I would advise against that, Kurokami-san," Aso warned.

"Kurokami-san, what's gotten into you? You're always telling me off for getting other students involved in Student Council business!" said Koga.

Medaka sniffed primly. "If you need help with anything, General Affairs Manager Koga-san, I am more than qualified to assist you. Besides, I am not asking for Kumagawa-sempai's help; he only needs to observe. If you are concerned, you may come along as well, third year Aso-san."

「Well, that's very gracious of you-」 Kumagawa leaned too far back and upset his balance, toppling over. 「I'm okay!」 he called from the floor.

Aso and Koga sweat dropped. Medaka was unfazed.

"Come along then," she ordered, rising from her seat and making for the door. Koga and Aso rushed to help Kumagawa to his feet, and half carried him along as they hurried to catch up.

-ooo-

Onigase kicked the door to the Art Club room open. She did not have to kick the door open of course (it was unlocked), but she like the effect such an action made. It showed the rule breakers you meant business, that you weren't afraid to use force, that you were ready to kick some ass and take some names.

Second year transfer student Fude Ezumachi continued to paint without reaction, his back managing to look very unimpressed.

Though disappointed by this bad start, Onigase did not give herself the time to be discouraged by the older boy's lack of response.

"Fude Ezumachi-san!" she declared, striking a pose for dramatic effect. "Due to numerous complaints about your behavior from the Art Club, as well as violation of academy rules, Harigane Onigase of the Enforcers has come to purge you! Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Ezumachi continued to paint, attention spared only to the easel before him.

Onigase's temper flared. "Fine, if you won't answer to words, then I have no choice but to resort to force. Ezumachi-san, prepare yourself!" Onigase lunged forward, right arm outstretched to drive her cuff into the middle of her target's back.

"Color Of Beauty."

Onigase's cuff made contact … and disintegrated. Onigase let out a startled yelp, curbing her momentum as best she could and jumping back. She stared down at her right hand in amazement, unclenching her fist to see the remaining half of her weapon. Gray flakes dropped from each broken end, where the metal seemed to have simply crumbled away.

"…Harigane … Onigase … was it?"

Onigase's head jerked up at the sound of her name. Ezumachi had turned away from his easel. Reddish-brown eyes glared at her from behind a thick strand of his multi-colored hair.

Though unnerved, Onigase forced a sardonic smile.

"Your hair is against regulations as well you know. And is that an earring I see?"

"I am only going to say this once," Ezumachi drawled, his voice without inflection. "I have no interest in this academy; its rules, its students. I want to paint. Leave me in peace, and I that is all I'll do."

"Oh? Think you're something special do you, Mister Class 13?" Onigase's eyes narrowed. "I don't care which class you're in, which year you're in, or if you're a transfer student. All rule-breakers will be dealt punishment accordingly." Onigase dropped her ruined cuff to pull out another, and thumped her clenched fist against her chest. "I'll teach you to respect the uniform of the Enforcers."

Ezumachi was nonplussed. "The uniform of the Enforcers? It's not very intimidating."

Onigase blinked. Noticing her confusion, Ezumachi pointed at her jacket. Onigase looked down.

Her uniform had turned pink.

"Eh?" Onigase shrieked. She rubbed frantically, as if doing so would make the white reappear. The pink remained in place. Her head whipped up, glaring at Ezumachi. "What did you do?" she snarled.

Ezumachi shrugged and turned back to his easel. "You say you want respect, when what you really want is fear. Again, I have no interest, so I made it so your uniform cannot invoke intimidation."

Onigase opened her mouth to respond.

The clubroom door burst open.

「Uniform, black as opposed to the usual white. Skirt, at regulation length. Jacket, modest (would look better with a window at chest level). Left sleeve, decorated with several armbands. Red ribbon in place of the usual tie. That hair, that flair, those _ballistics_, it's none other than Hakoniwa Academy's Student Council vice-president, Medaka Kurokami-chan!」

"…Captain, everyone can see who it is. You still don't need to narrate."

「Weren't you listening, Tanzaku-chan? This is a _transfer_ problem student. I'm sure he appreciates the info.」

"So noisy…" Ezumachi growled.

Kumagawa slumped against the doorway.

"Wah, Captain, don't get so depressed!"

"…Onigase-san? Is … is that you?"

"Ko-Koga-sempai," Onigase spluttered.

Koga giggled.

Onigase turned red. "Don't laugh!" she roared.

"Sorry, I'm (gasp) I'm sorry," Koga tried, stifling her giggles.

Medaka ignored the action at her back, eyes focused solely on Ezumachi. In contrast, Ezumachi seemed to have lost all interest, and had turned back to his easel.

"Kumagawa-sempai is correct, even if his manner of expression leaves something to be desired," Medaka addressed to Ezumachi. Behind her, the other four students paused in their horseplay. "I am Vice-President Medaka Kurokami of the Student Council. Second year Ezumachi-san-"

"I knew you would be coming," Ezumachi interrupted.

Medaka paused. "Oh?"

"As I told that other girl," Ezumachi continued. "I have no interest in Class 13, nor do I have any interest in you. Stay out of my business, and I'll stay out of yours." Ezumachi spared her a glance over his shoulder. "As fellow members of Class 13, we should try to get along, right?"

"That doesn't sound like you, second year Ezumachi-san."

"Correct. That other girl told me to say it," Ezumachi intoned. "How about this? Stay out of my business."

Medaka chuckled. "You're direct, second year Ezumachi-san. I like that. You're subterfuge could use some work though; now I'm even more interest in your business."

"In that case, _vice-president_, how about you stay out of _my_ business?"

Medaka turned, to find Onigase glaring at her.

"Classmate Onigase-san? What are you wearing?"

"I'll kill you!" Onigase howled at Ezumachi. "Turn my uniform back right now!"

Ezumachi ignored her.

Medaka glanced back and forth between the two of them. "Second year Ezumachi-san did this, classmate Onigase-san?"

Onigase returned to her glare to Medaka. "_Yes_," she spat. "But I can handle this myself. I don't need the Student Council's- _oomph!_"

「Hey, hey! That's no good, Harigane-chan! If you're always glaring like that, you'll ruin your cute face!」

"Get off me!"

"Captain, get off her! This is a sexual-harassment complaint just waiting to happen!"

From his place on the floor, pinning Onigase underneath him, Kumagawa smiled up at Medaka, ignoring both girls.

「Why don't you hurry up and do what you came here to do, Medaka-chan? Besides, you don't meet other students from your class too often right? You should take advantage of this opportunity.」

"…Thank you, Kumagawa-sempai." Medaka smiled tightly. "Though I'd rather not be obliged to you any more than I already am."

「What a thing to say, Medaka-chan. There are no obligations between a senior and his underclassmen! Though, if you can't help but feel that way, if you were to cut out some of the material from your uniform-」

"Second year Ezumachi-san," said Medaka, striding forward. "I came here on behalf of the Art Club, but now I have some personal questions I'd like to ask you as well."

"No!" Onigase raged from behind her. "This is the Enforcer's job! This is my job! The Art Club contacted us first!"

"Is that so? Hmm, seems I'll need to have a talk with classmate Yuubaru-san after I'm done here."

"Shut. Up."

_Crunch._

A palette knife embedded itself in the floor where Onigase's head had been but a few moments earlier. Staring wide-eyed at the knife, Onigase didn't even notice she had ended up in Kumagawa's lap when he had pulled them both out of the way.

Medaka stared at an identical knife in her hand; caught a scant few centimeters away from her nose.

"I'll tell you the same thing I told that girl yesterday," Ezumachi said quietly, his tone cold. "If you want to get in the way of my art, be prepared for the consequences."

By the door, Koga let out a belated squeak.

"You keep going on about this other girl. You're only making me more and more curious, second year Ezumachi-san," said Medaka. "Classmate Onigase-san," she called over her shoulder without looking back. "I noticed one of your handcuffs on the floor when I came in. Half of it was missing. What happened?"

Onigase looked up at the sound of her name. "It crumbled away," she answered dazedly.

Without another word, Medaka shot forward. Across the room, Ezumachi hurled several palette knives at her. Rather than try to dodge, Medaka continued running straight, batting the projectiles aside, closing in on Ezumachi. Ezumachi picked up a tube of red paint.

"Color Of Beauty."

There was a hiss, several pops, and the smell of burnt meat.

Medaka came to a sudden halt, then backed away slowly from Ezumachi.

He watched her retreat. "Now you understand," he said. "Just keep away. That's all I want."

"Kurokami-san? Kurokami-san, what's wrong? Are you alri- Kurokami-san!" Koga had moved to Medaka as Medaka had backed away, and gasped at what she saw. The vice-president's hands were dark red with burns, several popped blisters dotting the back of her hands. "Kurokami-san! These burns! We have to get you-"

"Red," said Medaka.

Koga glanced away from her hands and to her face. "Kurokami-san?"

"My hands are red. Burns are red. He _painted_ my hands red to burn them." Medaka looked up from her hands, eyes narrowing. "Second year Ezumachi-san, you can control color."

Ezumachi tipped his head to the side, scrutinizing Medaka. "That's impressive. You were able to figure it out so quickly."

"You turned classmate Onigase-san's uniform pink," said Medaka. "And if you looked closely, you could see that the broken ends of her handcuff were a different shade of gray compared to the rest of the metal."

"What magnificent eyesight. And what magnificent deductive prowess." Ezumachi frowned. "Even if you're only a vice-president, you're already on your way to being a president." His gaze hardened. "But you're not there yet, Kurokami."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Though Medaka was smiling, the expression was strained. "So, what will you do now, second year Ezumachi-san? Do you have any more color tricks to show me?"

"No," said Ezumachi slowly. He pulled out two handfuls of palette knives. "I think I'll stick to my knives."

Medaka snorted. "You're underestimating me if you think a few burns are going to stop me from knocking those aside just as easily as the last set."

"Of that I have no doubt," Ezumachi replied. "However, Kurokami, though you may be able to protect yourself with those hands…" His gaze shifted. "What about your friends?"

Medaka blinked. He was staring at Koga, who wasn't aware because she fussing over her hands, and now he was pulling his arms back, and now he was throwing the knives, and now they were sailing through the air, and Koga still hadn't noticed, and _she wasn't going to make it in time_…

Something small and metallic, several somethings small and metallic, collided with the flurry of palette knives, scattering all items involved through the air. Koga yelped and shoved her hands over Medaka's face to protect it. Medaka was too astonished by the action to tell Koga not to bother. Instead, she looked down to the floor.

Screws. Screws and palette knives.

_Thank you, Kumagawa-sempai._

"Is it over?"

Medaka looked over at Koga, and smiled despite herself. Having covered Medaka with her hands, the older girl had protected her own face by pulling her cap down over it.

"Yes, General Affairs Manager Koga-san. It's over."

「It certainly is, Medaka-chan. Fude-chan has made his escape.」

Medaka snapped to attention to find that, yes, Ezumachi had disappeared from the clubroom.

From the floor, Onigase made an inarticulate sound of frustration, before elbowing Kumagawa in the gut and rising to her feet. She didn't spare a word for any of them, stomping out of the clubroom in a huff.

Still on the floor, Kumagawa groaned.

"Captain, are you alright?"

「Fine, fine, Tanzaku-chan. I'm used to being rejected by girls. This sort of pain is nothing compared to the suffering my heart has gone through in the past seventeen years.」

"…Would you like a hand up?"

「Yes, please.」

As Aso saw to her captain and Koga fiddled with her cap, Medaka made her way across the room to Ezumachi's abandoned easel. Before her was a painting of a blonde woman in a green uniform. Her face had yet to be painted in.

「A cute girl without a face. Could you explain the symbolism, Medaka-chan?」

"Thank you for your help, Kumagawa-sempai. Again."

「Are you still going on about that? It's nothing more than self-preservation. Your temper tantrums are scary, Medaka-chan. Though…」 Kumagawa's voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. 「If you really want to make it up to me, you could give me Itami-chan's-」

"Number?"

「…Sure. We can start slow. You know how to contact me, right?」

"Classmate Hitoyoshi?"

「See!」 Kumagawa patted her on the shoulder. 「Go to the nurse's office, Medaka-chan. Leave Fude-chan to me. You're not the only one who wants some questions answered.」 He turned away from her and headed for the door. 「Tanzaku-chan!」

"Yes, Captain?"

「Stick with Medaka-chan for a little bit, okay?」 As he drew up beside her, Kumagawa's voice dropped. 「When she refuses to go to the nurse's office and goes to the Student Council office instead, make sure she at least gets some gauze on her hands, okay?」

"You're being surprisingly considerate, Captain. Does it have something to do with why you're the only upperclassman Kurokami-san refers to as sempai?"

「No idea. If I understood cute girls, Tanzaku-chan, do you think I'd still be single?」

-ooo-

Ezumachi stopped. There was no reason to keep moving. It seemed he had been found all the same.

"Come out," he ordered.

「Easy there, Fude-chan. You weren't thinking of leaving just like that, now were you?」

Ezumachi turned to glare at the unassuming boy behind him. "Do not call me Fude-chan."

「Whoa, you're so cool, Fude-chan! However,」 the boy reached into his pocket. Ezumachi tensed, but was surprised to see the only thing the boy took out was a small screw. 「Leaving in the middle of battle and making a cool exit, do you think this is _Weekly Shōnen Jump_?」

Ezumachi snorted. "_Weekly Shōnen Jump_? I don't know who you are, and I don't care. Get out of my way."

「_Well_, if you're going to be like that-」

Ezumachi was momentarily aware of the sound of running feet, then a white blur shot past him, to slam feet first into the boy and knock him to the floor. The young man (who Ezumachi could see now that he had stopped moving) clambered off the smaller boy, only to haul him up by the collar and start shaking him violently.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? What have I told you about using your screws! What has my mom told you about using your screws! Do want a repeat of what happened three years ago?" The young man continued ranting, seemingly oblivious to how dazed he had left his victim. Ezumachi observed him. Though Ezumachi did not recognize the white robe the young man was wearing, there was something familiar about him…

"Zenkichi Hitoyoshi?" said Ezumachi, more out of surprise at remembering the name than in an attempt to call the young man's attention.

"Hmm?" Zenkichi turned around at the sound of his name. He stared blankly for a few seconds, then his face lit up with recognition. "Ezumachi-sempai!" He seemed inordinately pleased to have recalled who was addressing him. "Ezumachi-sempai," he said again, walking over, dragging the other boy along with him. "I didn't think I'd see you again so soon," he remarked. "I'd like to say with this we're even, but," he gestured helplessly at the other boy. "I would have stopped this guy in any case. He's not the sort that can be left alone."

"…What are you wearing?" Ezumachi asked, for lack of anything better to say.

"What, this?" Zenkichi looked down at himself. "This is my Judo uniform. I'm a member of the Judo Club. We're not supposed to wear the uniform outside of the Judo Hall, but the captain sent me to beg the Student Council for funding, and she thought I'd make more of an impression dressed like this." Zenkichi wiped his forehead self-consciously. "I don't know why."

"The Student Council?" Ezumachi repeated. "You can just walk into their office?"

Zenkichi's hand flailed at his neck, looking for a collar to tug on. "Well," he said, drawing out the word. "Not _really_, but I'm on good terms with the general affairs manager." Zenkichi cleared his throat. "Something Nabeshima-sempai wants to milk for all it's worth," he mumbled.

Most of this dialogue meant nothing to Ezumachi, but there was one item that caught his attention.

"You are friends with the general affairs manager?" he asked.

「Itami Koga-chan!」 the boy called cheerily from Zenkichi's grip. 「You've met her already, Fude-chan, in the Art Club room.」

"The Art Club room? What was Koga-sempai doing there? You in trouble, Ezumachi-sempai?"

Ezumachi ignored them both. "Hitoyoshi," he said. "You owe me a favor."

"…Yes."

"You can return it now. The Student Council is interfering with my art. Get them to leave me alone."

"Uh…" Zenkichi grimaced. "Uh, sure, I mean – I can _try_. I don't know how much I can actually _do_-"

"It will be fine. The vice-president is partial to her general affairs manager."

"Well, if you say so."

"Good." Ezumachi nodded. "Come on then." He turned away from the other two and started off in the direction of the Student Council office.

Zenkichi glared down at Kumagawa. "If I let go of you, are you going to behave?"

「To see the knockout that runs the Student Council on her home turf, I'll do anything you want, Zenkichi-chan!」

"…That's the best I'm going to get, isn't it? Alright, come on. Hey, Ezumachi-sempai, wait up!"

-ooo-

The Student Council office was crowded. Medaka stood behind her desk, Koga hovering nervously at her side. Opposite, a wary Zenkichi stood beside a stoic Ezumachi to the left. On the right stood a black-haired girl with a rough air (and her uniform without the tie) and a small boy with light green hair. Both seemed vaguely angry with the other. Behind all of them, standing near the door as if they had no business being there (they didn't), were Kumagawa and Aso.

Feeling exposed and vulnerable in his Judo uniform, Zenkichi wanted nothing more than to leave.

"Yeah, so … if you could maybe let Ezumachi-sempai off the hook this time … that'd be cool."

"Don't listen to this guy, Kurokami-san!" cried the small boy (he was too underwhelming to demand). "I asked the Student Council-"

"After you asked the Public Morals Committee," Koga cut in.

The boy wilted. "Err, well … what happened to her anyway?"

"Classmate Onigase-san left some time ago. I would imagine to try and restore her uniform to its proper color," Medaka answered.

"The pink will have faded by tomorrow morning," Ezumachi supplied, speaking for the first time since coming to the office.

"Well, at least _someone_ will be going home happy then!" the girl with the rough air exploded.

"Yatsushiro-sempai…" the boy started.

"Enough out of you, Yuubaru-san!" Yatsushiro snapped. She turned her glare on Medaka. "Are you making fun of me, Kurokami-san? I came here looking for help, embarrassed as I was, and you give me this guy?"

"Um, Kurokami-san?" said Koga meekly, flinching as her question drew Yatsushiro's attention. "What is Yatsushiro-sempai talking about?

"I agreed to answer classmate Yuubaru's request concerning the Art Club in return for his aid with third year Yatsushiro-san's request," Medaka answered, nonplussed. "She would like to improve her handwriting. I thought an artist would be appropriate."

The office fell silent.

"Captain?" A whisper.

「Yes?」 Also a whisper.

"That logic doesn't work." Another whisper.

「No, it doesn't.」 A whisper again.

"You are making fun of me!" Yatsushiro cried.

"Your handwriting _has_ improved."

All heads turned to the left. Ezumachi was holding two sheets of paper, each covered with text, and was examining each with a critical eye.

"Your handwriting has improved," he repeated. "The text of this version is much more legible than the other, though the quality is still poor."

"Don't read them!" Yatsushiro shrieked, lunging at Ezumachi. Zenkichi caught her before she could collide with the junior transfer, and received an elbow to the nose for his trouble. "That hardly counts," Yatsushiro snapped, whirling to address Medaka. "Yuubaru-san didn't help me with that letter, it was-" she stopped, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "It was … it was … Yuubaru-san, who came in and helped me out in the mid-afternoon?"

Yuubaru looked just as unsettled as she did. "I … I know someone _did_ come in, but … I can't remember who it was…"

"Well … whatever," Yatsushiro turned back to Medaka, anger returning. "If I can't remember, it can't be important. Anyway, I came here for help, and all I've gotten out of it if _this_-," she waved contemptuously at Ezumachi, bent over Medaka's desk. "-jerk is to be believed is "more legible poor quality". This was a waste of my time-"

"Here."

Yatsushiro blinked at the sheet being held out to her.

Ezumachi held no expression.

Yatsushiro took the paper. "This … this is my letter," she said, voice laden with disbelief.

"If that letter is what its contents lead me to believe it is," said Ezumachi briskly, "Then you're only trying to write a clean copy of this one manuscript. There is no need to re-teach you how to write." He gestured at the paper in her hands. "Just keep rewriting until you can get your own writing to match mine."

Yatsushiro stared at him dazedly. "You have very nice handwriting," she said at last.

"Thank you." Ezumachi turned to the desk, waving her away with his hand. "If that matter is resolved, could we please move on to mine and the Art Club's, Kurokami-san?"

"Yeah, I want to get this sorted too," Zenkichi spoke up as Yatsushiro made her way out of the office. "Ezumachi-sempai, I can't say I agree with tossing out an entire club just for your art. I'm not an artist, so how you behave is your own business, though I do think that was a bit extreme. "But, Kurokami-san," Zenkichi turned to Medaka. "I can't believe Ezumachi-sempai is a bad guy. He helped me out when the Judo Club were attacking me left and right, and he just helped out a girl-"

「A cute girl!」

"_Without_ any ulterior motives. That makes him a better guy than a certain _other_ upperclassman I know."

「You know other upperclassmen, Zenkichi-chan? Are you cheating on me?」

"_Captain!_"

Medaka stared levelly at Zenkichi, who stared right back at her. Both staunchly ignored the behavior of their mutual acquaintance at the back of the room.

"Look, it's Hitoyoshi-san, right?" said Yuubaru. "Maybe Ezumachi-sempai really is a good guy. I've seen for myself that he is a talented artist. But he can't expect the Art Club to empty out their only clubroom just because he finds the other members a distraction. Isn't it more realistic for _him_ to find somewhere else to paint if he's that opposed to other people?"

"Another place to paint, huh?" Zenkichi chewed his lower lip thoughtfully.

"Ah!" said Koga suddenly. She leaned to right, looking over Zenkichi's shoulder. "Kuma-"

「Absolutely no way.」

"…Aso-sem-"

"Absolutely no way."

"Oh, well, never mind that idea then…"

"No, you might have come up with something good, General Affairs Manager Koga-san," said Medaka. "If second year Ezumachi-san needs somewhere else to paint, we just need to find him a room. Second year Ezumachi-san," she said, addressing the older boy. "Would you have any problems moving to a different room if the light was reasonable and you were granted supplies?"

Ezumachi stared at her. "…Better," he said at last. His gaze flickered to the bands around her left arm. "But you still have a long way to go before you're president material, Kurokami."

Medaka grinned at him. "That's fine. I'm not so egoistical to think myself ready to succeed the president yet. By all means, keep telling me how I may improve, second year Ezumachi-san."

"No. I don't want to see any more of you than I have to."

Medaka burst out laughing. As Koga tried to get her to settle down, Zenkichi took Ezumachi by the shoulder and pulled him close.

"Hey, Ezumachi-sempai, I get that you're the antisocial type, but could you at least try and meet Kurokami-san half way here? Believe me, this girl is even crazier than you are, and if you want to get a good deal out of this, you need-"

"I'm not interested," Ezumachi told him, not bothering to whisper despite their close proximity. "Hitoyoshi, if you are so concerned for my welfare, then you handle it."

Zenkichi glared halfheartedly at him. "I take it back. You're no better than that certain other upperclassman. Neither of you knows how to take care of himself."

「I heard that, Zenkichi-chan! What's his name? Who's stolen you away from me!」

"If the Art Club can have their room back, I think I'm just going to leave now…" Yuubaru began edging towards the door.

"Alright!" Medaka declared exuberantly. "Second year Ezumachi-san, I know just the place for you!"

-ooo-

Shiranui looked around the Broadcast Club room. Seated at the table were Zenkichi, Kumagawa, Aso, and Koga. The addition of the Student Council general affairs manager was not such a surprise; the addition of the Student Council vice-president, making tea in the room's corner with an electric kettle, was.

"My goodness," she said. "What brings the esteemed Student Council to the Broadcast Club's humble storage room?"

"IT'S NOT … I mean, it's not a storage room, Shiranui-san," said Aso.

"We're compensating a student-" Koga started.

「Slowly being evicted…」

"For their time." Koga huffed, throwing an annoyed look at Kumagawa.

"Such teasing! In a good mood are we, Kumagawa-sempai?"

「You got it, Hanhaba-chan! The cute girls of the Student Council have two hours every day they can't spend in their office, so they're spending it in mine!」

"…Captain, when you call the clubroom your office, that carries several bad connotations…"

"To make things a bit clearer, Shiranui," cut in Zenkichi. "The Student Council now has a secretary, on the condition that he gets two hours to himself in their office every day, plus any time these two are out of the office handling requests, provided his Student Council work is completed."

"My, my, you are well-informed today, Hitoyoshi-san. Are you perhaps trying to take over my role in the story?"

"Watch out, Shiranui. I think Kumagawa's starting to rub off on you. And the only reason I'm well-informed on this matter is because the new secretary had me haggling for his terms."

Shiranui raised an eyebrow. "You are a student representative now, Hitoyoshi-san? Just who _is_ this new secretary?"

"Second year Fude Ezumachi-san," said Medaka, carrying a tray over to the group. She put the tray down on the table, and began handing out cups. "Tea, classmate Shiranui-san?"

"No thank you, Kurokami-san, I have my own." Taking a seat, Shiranui withdrew her thermos. "So, the Student Council now has a secretary." Shiranui stared pointedly at Medaka's left arm. "That leaves only the position of treasurer to be filled then, doesn't it?"

"Yes!" Koga cried. "Kurokami-san, let's get a treasurer soon. The clubs are starting to get fidgety about their budgets. I'm sure having Ezumachi-san on board will help, but it's getting to the point that if you just mention funds-"

「Funds? Finds!」

"Captain, she said funds!"

"Oh crap, I forgot to report back to Nabeshima-sempai about the funds!"

Koga gestured at the club members seated at the table. "See!"

Medaka tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Indeed, not having a treasurer is starting to cause problems now. There isn't enough money to go around, and there's really no good way to divide up the resources we do have appropriately."

"If I my make a … suggestion, Kurokami-san?" said Shiranui.

Medaka glanced over at the other girl. "Of course. What would you like to say, classmate Shiranui-san?"

"Well, I cannot boast to know how best to handle your current dilemma, but I do like to stay informed. Were you aware, Kurokami-san, that the academy has recently had a new pool built, that is not being used?"


	5. Just Leave It To…

**Author's Note**: So, anyone who has read my profile knows I'm a freak who only posts on Mondays, even if he finishes a chapter on Tuesday. Guess which chapter got finished on Tuesday? Good news though, I've had last week to write chapter five, so that will be up next Monday to make up for the lateness of chapter four. And as for chapter four, I imagine it'll raise a few eyebrows. Please bear with me. There are reasons for everything, I promise, which will be revealed eventually. Otherwise, I don't want to simply rehash what happened in the manga, and I don't think my readers want to reread what happened in the manga. That's what the actual manga is for, right?

**Disclaimer**: Medaka Box is the property of Nisio Isin and Akira Akatsuki. The author is making no profit by this work.

* * *

**Chapter Four: Just Leave It To…**

"And! It's! Over!" Aso's voice echoed out of the speaker system. "With this, the preliminary round of the Inter-Club Competition is finished. Of the twenty clubs we saw arrive this morning, we've narrowed it down to the top eight. We'll be taking a short break to allow everyone to catch their breath, but then the main rounds of the competition will begin without delay! The Student Council invites all clubs that didn't make it through the preliminaries to stick around. You are welcome to watch the remainder of the competition, and enjoy the food provided by our very own Diet Education Committee."

Zenkichi made his way over to the water table. The first water bottle was emptied over his head, and he spilt most of the second down the front of his shirt in his haste to drink. By the time he'd finished his third, Jounan was making his way over to him, carrying a towel in each hand.

"Easy there, Hitoyoshi-kun," he chastised lightly, handing the younger boy a towel. "Don't choke yourself."

"Thanks, Jounan-sempai," said Zenkichi, accepting the towel gratefully. Both members of the Judo Club began to dry themselves. "So, that was pretty intense for a preliminary round."

Jounan chuckled. "Yeah, it was definitely a wild two hours. Especially that section they had us do in the pool."

Zenkichi shuddered at the memory. "Yeah, that was rough. The Student Council sure aren't pulling any punches. Know who else made it into the top eight?"

"Well, I know the Student Council were the first to finish, though that shouldn't come as a surprise even if they didn't come up with the course themselves. The Athletics Club were right behind us, so they probably made it. Other than that, no idea."

"So we could be up against anyone, huh?" Zenkichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, grimacing as it came out wet. "I guess it'd make sense that the sports clubs would have the advantage though."

「Ha! You're too naïve, Zenkichi-chan!」

Zenkichi and Jounan looked up at the voice, to see a very damp Kumagawa approaching.

"Kumagawa?" said Zenkichi, confused. "_You're_ competing? I thought the Broadcast Club were doing their usual thing. Aso-sempai sure is."

Kumagawa shook his head, chuckling. 「Like I said, you're too naïve, Zenkichi-chan. This is a battle for funding; of course the Broadcast Club would be competing! Though, since we also have to handle the broadcasting, Medaka-chan graciously allowed us to bring in substitute members for the competition.」

Zenkichi narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Substitute members?"

"Substitute members, Hitoyoshi-san." Shiranui waved from her seat further down the table.

"Shiranui? How long have you been here? Scratch that, _why_ are you here? You're not affiliated with a club."

"I have been here longer than you have, Hitoyoshi-san. It was quite entertaining to watch you rehydrate. And why should I not be here? I am always in the Broadcast Club room, so just for today, I am helping them out." Shiranui smiled and gestured in Kumagawa's direction.

Zenkichi turned back to Kumagawa. "Shiranui? You got _Shiranui_ to sub in for you?"

「Yep!」 Kumagawa replied cheerfully.

"Kumagawa-sempai!" Jounan boomed, stepping past Zenkichi and thrusting his hand out before him. "It's a pleasure to meet you at last! Hitoyoshi-kun has told us all about you at the Judo Club!"

「Not everything, I hope.」 said Kumagawa, shaking the other boy's hand.

Jounan laughed. "Guess I'll find out how much! Let's have a good match. So," he continued, looking around, "where's your third member?"

"Yeah, Kumagawa," said Zenkichi dryly. "Who is your third member? Don't tell me you got Onigase somehow."

「Now, now, Zenkichi-chan.」 Kumagawa waggled his finger at him. 「Just because I love cute girls, doesn't mean I can't be pragmatic when it comes to the good of my club. I am the captain after all. Behold!」 Kumagawa threw his arms wide. 「The Broadcast Club team's third member!」

"Sup, Hitoyoshi."

"Kanoya-sempai?" Zenkichi spluttered. Striding towards them, looking as foreboding as always, was Kanoya. Zenkichi squinted. He couldn't be sure if it wasn't some trick of the light, but Kanoya's hair looked a shade lighter than the last time he had seen him.

「That's right!」 Kumagawa boasted. 「With Hanhaba-chan's snap, Kanoya-chan's crackle, and my pop, the Broadcast Club are going to sweep this completion!」

"What are you doing here, Kanoya-sempai?" asked Zenkichi, ignoring Kumagawa.

Kumagawa deflated.

"What else, Hitoyoshi?" Kanoya grinned, pointed teeth turning the action feral. "I still have a score to settle with you and those bitches from the Student Council. If I can't crush you in a fight, I'll just beat you down in this game."

"Well, yeah," said Zenkichi, still confused. "I got that. I mean, why are you teaming up with Kumagawa?"

"Are you kidding?" Kanoya wrapped an arm around Kumagawa's shoulders, pulling the smaller boy into a manly half-hug. "I love this guy!"

Zenkichi gaped.

「That's right, Zenkichi-chan! Me and Kanoya ran into each other after you kicked him out of that window, and we totally bonded!」

Jounan burst out laughing. "Is that so? Well, Kumagawa-sempai, if you've made new friends, so has Hitoyoshi-kun!" Jounan grabbed Zenkichi around the shoulders and pulled him in so that the two mirrored the boys opposite.

"Yes! Yes! Stay just like that!"

Four heads turned in the direction of the voice. Before them stood a tall girl with long brown hair and matching eyes behind a small pair of glasses. She was wearing a predominantly white uniform with a red ribbon around the collar, as well as red shoes and stockings. She was scribbling furiously in a small notepad, glancing up every now and again to study the scene in front of her.

**Fue Yobuko**

**Junior: Class 10**

**Blood Type: AB**

**Public Morals Committee Chairwoman**

"Yobuko-sempai!" came an exasperated wail. Onigase came running up, lips curling in displeasure to see who her senior was consorting with.

「Hey there, Harigane-chan! Who's this pretty girl?」

"_This_," Onigase bit out, "is the chairwoman of the Public Morals Committee, Fue Yobuko-sempai."

"The chairwoman of the Public Morals Committee?" Zenkichi echoed. He looked the young woman up and down. She was still scribbling away, and … blushing? Zenkichi began to pull away from Jounan.

"No!" Yobuko shouted, suddenly jerking. "Don't move!"

Zenkichi, wide-eyed, moved himself back under Jounan's arm.

"Yes! Yes!" Yobuko mumbled, gaze flickering back and forth between her notepad and each pair of boys. "Just like that." She giggled low. "Zenkichi x Jounan, and Misogi x Kanoya … hu hu hu…" Yobuko hunched further over her notepad, mechanical pencil moving faster.

"Uh…" Zenkichi started.

"Shh … don't say anything," Jounan muttered quietly in his ear. "The Enforcers tend to attract the obsessive types. It's why they used to be so good at making sure the rules were being followed. Now that that's over, they tend to get obsessed with … other things." Jounan raised his head and called to his classmate. "Yobuko-san! What are the Public Morals Committee doing here? You guys providing security?"

Swelling with pride, Onigase answered for Yobuko. "We _are_ providing security. But we're participating too. Yes!" she continued in the face of the boys' disbelief. "The Enforcers have a team taking part in the competition, and _I'm_ a member." She stuck a fist out challengingly. "Kumagawa-sempai, Kanoya-sempai, Hitoyoshi," Onigase glared at them. "I'm going to pay all three of you back for how you've humiliated me!"

"Tch." Kanoya shoved Kumagawa aside, almost knocking the smaller boy over, and advanced on the girls. "You want to settle the score, brat? Why wait – we can do it right now."

A small hand caught Kanoya by the sleeve.

"Now, now, Kanoya-sempai," said Shiranui. "If you start making trouble, you will get the Broadcast Club disqualified. Onigase-san is not the only person here you have business with, am I right?"

Kanoya glared at Onigase, glared at Shiranui, then glared at Onigase once more good for measure. Growling, he pulled away from Shiranui and stalked to the water table, nearly knocking Kumagawa down (again) as he pushed past.

「Ooh, nice save, Hanhaba-chan!」 Kumagawa brushed himself off, unperturbed by his teammate's behavior. He frowned disapprovingly at Zenkichi however. 「Shame on you, Zenkichi-chan, leaving your best friend to break up a fight by herself.」

Zenkichi snorted. "I don't want to hear that from the senior who recruited Kanoya-sempai in the first place." He left Jounan's side and walked over to get a closer look at Kumagawa. "You alright?"

「Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, Zenkichi-chan. Though, if you start acting like a tsundere, people are going to get the wrong idea.」

Zenkichi raised an eyebrow.

Kumagawa pointed.

Zenkichi turned.

"Gah!" He lurched back, crashing into Kumagawa, and bringing them both to the ground.

Yobuko leered down at them. "Oh … yes … Zenkichi x Kumagawa is good too…" she chuckled darkly.

Zenkichi jumped to his feet, hauling Kumagawa up with him. "Yeah," he said hurriedly, beginning to inch away from the junior (her breathing was growing heavier). "It was … uh … nice to meet you, Yobuko-sempai."

"Oh, it was just lovely to meet you too, Hitoyoshi-kun." Without warning, Yobuko's leer and quick breathing evaporated, leaving her perfectly composed. "I hear you and your friends have been looking after Onigase-chan. Thank you."

"Yobuko-sempai!" Onigase wailed, her face a mixture of anger and mortification. "You don't need to thank them for anything! These two are just a pervert and an attention hog!"

A pause.

「Hey now, Onigase-chan, just because I like to be the center of attention, don't call me-」

"Shut up, pervert!"

"Wah, don't be nasty, Onigase-chan. It doesn't suit a cute girl like yourself." Yobuko smiled brightly. "Now, now, why don't we all just hug and make up?"

"Sempai, I- I'm not- why do you _always_- forget it!" Onigase stormed off, radiating injured pride.

Yobuko sighed. "Oh dear. And she's off again." Turning back to Zenkichi and Kumagawa, she bowed apologetically. "Onigase-chan is a very serious girl, but please don't take what she says to heart. She's more frustrated with me than you two, I'm sure."

"Eh, don't worry about it Yobuko-sempai. My captain's taunts are way worse."

「I'm used to being hated by cute girls. Actually, I'm used to just being hated.」

"Kumagawa, you're over exaggerating. Again."

「See! Even my childhood friend is cruel to me!」

Their back and forth was cut off before it could escalate, by a mechanical ringing over the speaker system.

"And it's time!" Aso's voice blared out. "We're almost ready to start. At this time, we ask that all students sticking around, either to participate or to watch, gather at the center podium for a speech from our Student Council president.

-ooo-

"And … ah … that was our Student Council president! How about a round of applause!"

There were a few halting attempts at clapping from within the crowd, all of which died out quickly from sheer awkwardness.

"Captain?" Zenkichi muttered.

"Yes, Hitoyoshi-kun?" Nabeshima answered.

"What just happened?"

"Our Student Council president made a speech."

"Then why can't I remember anything from the last five minutes?"

"Don't worry about it. That's what usually happens."

「It's King Crimson! The president is a gangster!」

"Shut up, Kumagawa!"

「Ow! Kanoya-chan…」

"Okay!" Aso waved from the podium, holding a microphone with her other hand. "I promise, we're almost there! First though, I'd like to introduce a special guest: our referee and my cohost, Chairman Hanten Shiranui-san!"

The man joining Aso on the platform was tall, with short blue hair and an amazing ahoge. He was wearing a three piece suit, his apparel totally white, with the exception of a black unequal symbol emblazoned on his tie.

"Thank you having me, Aso-san," Hanten said. Taking up his own microphone, he addressed the crowd. "May I say it is such a pleasure to be here. Seeing all these excited young faces just makes me so delighted to be an educator. Now then," Hanten's face broke out in a wide grin. "Let's get started, shall we? Just leave the close calls to me, and enjoy yourselves. We've selected the order of participants by lottery, and the first match will be the Student Council versus the Personal Experience Club."

"The Personal Experience Club?" Zenkichi turned to his teammates. "Did the academy have a club like that?"

Jounan shrugged. "It takes all sorts."

"Quiet you two." Nabeshima was looking thoughtful. "Seems we won't know the complete order until the third match is called, and they're picking the type of challenge right before the match starts. Okay. No way to know what we'll have to do to win the match beforehand. Nothing we can do about that. Still, we lucked out not having to face the Student Council in the first round. And if we don't get called next, we won't have to face them until the last round."

"If you want to strategize, Captain, make it quick," Zenkichi warned. "I don't know anything about the Personal Experience Club, but I bet they won't last long-"

"And it's over!" Aso's voice declared. "The Student Council advances to the second round!"

"Too bad for the Personal Experience Club," Hanten's voice added. "Guess they couldn't _take the heat_."

"…Right. For the second match, would the Athletics Club and the Broadcast Club please make their way to the track field."

-ooo-

Kumagawa looked down at his right leg, tied to Kanoya's left. He was holding Shiranui's left leg with his right hand, while Kanoya was holding her right leg with his left hand, Shiranui supporting herself with her arms. All three members had changed into tracksuits beforehand; Kumagawa was sorely disappointed that Shiranui was not wearing her skirt.

"The three-legged wheelbarrow race," said Aso from her place at the sidelines. "Both teams have to complete a full circuit along the course as fast as they can if they want to move onto the second round. But watch out! If even one member falters, the whole team is going down!"

"Kumagawa-sempai, Kanoya-sempai," said Shiranui. "I don't know about the Athletic Club's wheelbarrow, but I recognize the girls who are tied together. They both specialize in sprinting; the one with the pigtails is a regular."

"Just leave it to us," said Kanoya, unworried.

「That's right, Hanhaba-chan! The Athletics Club may be in their element, but me and Kanoya-chan are so in sync we're like the same person. Watch this!」 Kumagawa raised his free arm. 「Up high.」

Kanoya high-fived him.

"Down low."

Kumagawa low-fived him back.

"Alright then, Athletics Club, Broadcast Club, on my signal. Three … two … one…"

Aso blew the whistle.

The Broadcast Club leapt into action, Kumagawa and Kanoya moving their legs in time with one another, Shiranui keeping up on her hands, their combined efforts propelling them forward … far slower than the Athletics Club.

"…Kumagawa?"

「Yes, Kanoya-chan?」

"I get that we're supper coordinated right now, but you're really slow aren't you?"

「Yes, Kanoya-chan.」

"Not to interrupt, Kumagawa-sempai, Kanoya-sempai, but we are going to lose at this rate."

"…Screw _that_."

"This doesn't look good for the Broadcast Club, Aso-san," said Hanten. "As the captain's right hand, do you think they can catch up?"

Aso grimaced behind her microphone. "While I do want to support my club, Shiranui-san, I'm afraid our captain isn't renowned for his athletic prowess. I don't think-"

"Wait, what's this?" Hanten interrupted. "The Broadcast Club is speeding up!"

Indeed, the trio was closing the gap with the Athletics Club. But looking closely…

"They're cheating!" cried Aso, scandalized.

"Oh, I don't if it's cheating, per se…" Hanten began.

"Just look at them! How can you call that a team effort?"

Kanoya was racing forward, having pinned Kumagawa to his side, the other boy's free leg leaving a rut in the ground as it was dragged along. Shiranui for her part was the picture of serenity, except…

"Her hands aren't touching the ground! How is she doing that?"

"Well, she's just holding her body straight with her center and keeping her arms of the ground, Aso-san. My Hanhaba-chan has some amazing core muscles."

"How is this teamwork?"

"Well, two out of three isn't bad…"

The Broadcast Club had now caught up with the Athletics Club, both groups nearly at the finish line.

"And the winner is … the Broadcast Club! The Broadcast Club moves on to the second round!"

"Chairman, you're allowing the Broadcast Club to advance? Even if I'm a member, that was blatant disregard of the rules!"

"…Nah, they were entertaining to watch, so it's fine."

At this, every student present had the same thought.

_Our chairman is so easy going…_

"Uh … yes, well, as Chairman Shiranui is our referee, the Broadcast Club moves on to the second round." Aso cleared her throat. "Um, could someone call Aka-san, please? The Broadcast Club Captain's leg might need some looking at. And, uh, could someone perhaps try and find his shoe…?"

"So much for the Athletics Club; they _ran out_ of steam. Now, time for the third match!" Hanten boomed cheerfully. "Would the Orchestra Club and the Swimming Club please report to the baseball field?"

On the sidelines of the track field, the reactions of the Judo Club were mixed. Jounan was mostly confused, Nabeshima was mostly impressed, and Zenkichi was totally embarrassed.

"Someone just tap me on the shoulder when it's our turn," he moaned, face covered with his hands. "Otherwise, leave me alone."

"Cheer up, Hitoyoshi-kun," Jounan consoled. "Kumagawa-sempai advanced, so that's a good thing right? Besides, the chairman has always been the "just there" type of administrator."

"Ain't that the truth," Nabeshima chuckled. "I know from personal experience, Hitoyoshi-kun, impartiality is not the chairman's thing. Still, if the Swimming Club and the Orchestra Club are up now, looks like we're up against the Public Morals Committee. Either of you know who is on their team?"

"Harigane Onigase, a freshman, approached me and Hitoyoshi-kun earlier," Jounan supplied. "Other than that, no idea."

"Yahoo, Hitoyoshi-kun!"

All three members looked up at the call. Approaching quickly were two figures in black, the greeting supplied by the fairer of the pair. Koga bounced up to them, Ezumachi trailing behind.

"Hi, Koga-sempai," Zenkichi answered, waving weakly. "Ezumachi-sempai."

"Hitoyoshi," Ezumachi acknowledged.

"Ah, Ezumachi-kun, you must not know these two, right?" asked Koga, rocking on her heels. "This is Nabeshima-sempai, the captain of the Judo Club, and this is Jounan-kun, the vice-captain."

"Nice to meet you, Ezumachi-san, and _you_, Koga-san," said Jounan, grinning widely.

Nabeshima smacked him upside the head. "Don't push it, dummy. I haven't forgotten what happened with Hitoyoshi-kun's initiation match."

Ezumachi turned to Zenkichi. "Initiation match?"

"Don't ask," said Zenkichi. "What about you, Ezumachi-sempai? How's the Student Council treating ya?"

"The work is simple enough. The amount makes finding time to paint taxing on occasion, but Kurokami assures me things will get better once she had secured a treasurer. She and Koga-san are often out of the office, so it is quiet at least."

"Well, as long you're happy. I still can't believe you left me to haggle with Kurokami-san."

"It was too bothersome." Ezumachi paused. "Though I suppose I do owe you my thanks."

"What? No." Zenkichi waved his hands. "I owed you one for helping me out that time in the Art Club room. We're even."

"You were hiding because you did not want to join the Judo Club," Ezumachi pointed out. "Yet you are now a member. I asked you to make me a member of the Student Council and you did so. I feel as if I profited more by your repayment."

"Eh…" Zenkichi rubbed his head self-consciously. "I'm not really good at keeping track of things like that. You did me a favor, I did you a favor. As far as I'm concerned, we're all square."

"Still-"

"Ezumachi-sempai. Trust me, it's fine. I know a guy who owes me more favors than either of us remembers. He comes through for me when it counts though. That's enough. You shouldn't worry."

"…Very well, Hitoyoshi."

"Anyway, what are you two doing over here? Where is Kurokami-san?"

"Ooh! Kurokami-san's making sure the Swimming Club is playing fair!" Koga's eyebrows furrowed. "You know, Hitoyoshi-kun, there are some bad rumors floating around about the Swimming Club. Part of the reason Kurokami-san decided to make the competition a mix of events was so she could keep an eye on them."

"Nya~ Kurokami-chan doesn't waste anytime does she? To think she's already making a move on the Swimming Club." Nabeshima chuckled. "I'll give my underclassmen some advice though, so pass it onto Kurokami-chan: even if they aren't malicious, there are a lot of people who want to see geniuses lose."

"Kurokami-san already knows that." Koga shrugged. "She just wants to keep things friendly. That's one of the reasons she asked the Public Morals Committee to help out. So that the students can have fun."

A horn echoed across the field.

"The third match is over! The Swimming Club advances!"

"End of the line for the Orchestra Club; they _dropped the ball_ when it counted. Shall we move on, Aso-san?"

"…Right. Would the Judo Club and the Public Morals Committee head towards the center podium for the last match of the first round?"

"Looks like we're up," said Jounan. "About time."

"Of course I'd be up against Onigase." Zenkichi rose to his feet, stretching. "As if I haven't upset her enough already."

"Eyes on the prize, you two," ordered Nabeshima. "Even if the Enforcers are push overs, we'll be facing the Swimming Club next. Don't let your guards down."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Captain," said Jounan. "We still have to beat the Public Morals Committee. Who knows what the match will consist of?"

-ooo-

"Okay, huddle up!" Nabeshima snapped. Jounan and Zenkichi dutifully huddled up, ignoring the odd looks from both the opposing team and the onlookers.

Zenkichi, however, did feel the need to ask: "Captain, it's rock-paper-scissors. Do we really need to strategize?"

"No, but when it comes to winning, I don't want to just leave it to chance. We're psyching the enemy out right now."

After thirty seconds pretending to be in deep conversation, the Judo Club broke, and faced the team on the opposite side of the stage. Onigase stood in the middle of the trio; to her left, a sickly looking boy with a bowl cut, and to her right, a bulky fellow who could have passed for Jounan's brother.

"Okay, everyone knows the rules, right?" asked Aso. "Of course you do, no need to waste time explaining. Each team will send forward one member at a time. First to get two wins takes the point. First team with two points wins."

"I'll go first," said Jounan, stepping forward without waiting for either Zenkichi or Nabeshima to reply. From the opposite side, the largest member broke away from the others.

"Okay, first up, it's Jounan from the Judo Club versus Kunisaki from the Public Morals Committee," Aso announced.

Jounan and Kunisaki stared each other down.

"Nice eyebrows."

"Likewise.

"Shall I call first?

"Be my guest."

"Rock … paper … scissors!" Jounan called.

Both boys thrust their hands forward. Paper and paper.

"Shall we go again?"

"Let's."

"Rock … paper … scissors!"

Scissors and scissors.

"…This might take longer than we expected, Shiranui-san."

"…That it might, Aso-san."

Ten minutes later, Jounan took his second win, earning the first point for the Judo Club.

Zenkichi was sent up next, to meet the boy with the bowl cut. Yoshinogari.

"So," Zenkichi began. "Shall I go first, or do you want it?"

"…You're going to use paper," said Yoshinogari.

"What?"

"When you go, you're going to use paper," Yoshinogari repeated. He raised his fist. "Call it."

_Relax, Zenkichi, he's just trying to psych you out._ "Sure. Rock." _I'll show him. I just won't use paper. Wait, what if that's what he wants? What if it's reverse psychology?_ "Paper." _Or what if it's reverse reverse psychology? Or reverse reverse reverse psychology?_ "Scissors!" _Oh crap, I gotta go!_

Zenkichi put forth paper. Yoshinogari put forth scissors.

"Next you're going to use rock," Yoshinogari told him.

"Rock … paper … scissors!"

Zenkichi put forth paper again. Yoshinogari put forth scissors again.

Zenkichi felt very proud of himself on the walk back to the Judo Club's side of the stage, until Nabeshima punched him in the head and told him to stop smiling after he lost. Zenkichi didn't feel very proud after that.

The last point was between Nabeshima and Onigase.

"Rock … paper…" Nabeshima put forward rock. "Scissors!"

"As expected of the King of Fouls! What a cheap way to take an early lead!"

"That's cheating!" Onigase howled.

Hanten let it pass.

"Rock … paper … scissors!"

Onigase put forth scissors. Nabeshima put forth rock.

Kunisaki and Yoshinogari had to call in several other members of the Public Morals Committee to help them drag Onigase of the stage. And that was how the first round of the Inter-Club Competition came to an end.

-ooo-

"Okay!" Aso called. "The second round begins right now! We've gotten the stage cleaned up after Onigase-san's tantrum-"

"The way she was throwing her hands around, maybe she was expecting a morra bonus round." Hanten quipped.

"-and both the Student Council and the Broadcast Club are ready to go!" Aso finished. "And the challenge is … picture charades! Each team will send a member forward to receive their word. Then, they will have to draw an image of the term. First team to guess what the word is wins a point. First team to two points wins. First, Shiranui-san and Kurokami-san, please come forward to receive your word."

Shiranui began drawing.

「A watermelon!」

"A soccer ball!"

「A hippopotamus!」

"A whale!"

"Wow, the Broadcast Club aren't wasting any time!" Aso narrated. "And as for the Student Council?"

"…Kurokami-san, you wrote "Giraffe" on the paper."

"It's a picture of the word."

"Oh! A surprisingly stupid answer from the Student Council vice-president!"

"Disqualified. First point to the Broadcast Club."

"Amazing! Referee Shiranui has made his first normal call of the day. Next!"

The next point went to the Student Council; Hanten requested Ezumachi's drawing of an elephant to hang up in his office.

The tie breaker came down to Kumagawa and Koga.

「Itami-chan, no hard feelings, okay?」

"Of course, Kumagawa-sempai. Not that I intend to lose."

「That's the spirit! Kanoya-chan, are you ready!」

"Just leave it to me, Kumagawa! We'll crush the Student Council here!"

"Both teams are getting fired up! The Kumagawa-Kanoya combination has already proven itself today. Can the Student Council beat this pair? Ready … set … draw!"

"A koala bear."

"Wha-" Aso fumbled. "…And the vice-president declares her answer with a totally blank sheet of paper. Koga-san?"

"Um, that's right!"

「What?」

"The hell!"

"Incredible! What a guess! The Kumagawa-Kanoya combination has been defeated!"

"Wait." Hanten stood.

"Um, referee?"

"A lucky guess before anything has been drawn defeats the purpose of picture charades. If the Broadcast Club can guess their own last word, we will be having an extra round to settle the tie."

"What a turnaround! After goofing off for the entire first round, Chairman Shiranui has suddenly started taking his job seriously! It's all up to Kanoya now! Can he guess the Captain's word without any illustrations?"

_「__What a thing to say, Tanzaku-chan. If it's Kanoya-chan…__」_

…_I don't need any pictures to know what he would draw._

"Kumagawa," Kanoya said, grinning wide. "Is the word, panda?"

"No hesitation! And the Captain's answer is?"

「…It was penguin.」

Kumagawa and Shiranui had to call in several members of the Public Morals Committee to help them drag Kanoya of the stage.

-ooo-

"A ten meter by ten meter arena filled with mud. Want to tell our participants why they've changed into their swimsuits, Shiranui-san?"

"With pleasure, Aso-san. Mud wrestling!"

"How risqué! Tell me, Chairman, how on earth did the Student Council get permission for a match like this?"

"As I often tell my secretary, Aso-san, what the board of directors don't know won't jeopardize my career."

"Um … what?"

The Judo Club team eyed the Swimming Club from their side of the field.

"Mud wrestling, eh? Jounan-kun, stop drooling."

Jounan had the courtesy to look abashed.

"Well, I guess I'll be taking on their freshman ace by default," Nabeshima eyed the girl on the other side of the mud field. "Hitoyoshi-kun, you'll be taking their vice-captain. The blonde. Jounan-kun, you've got Yakushima-kun."

Zenkichi frowned. "Is that really for the best, Captain? I'm sure you can handle the girl, but I've heard you talk about Yakushima-sempai. Wouldn't it be better to pair Jounan-sempai with their vice-captain?"

"Oh? You think you could handle Yakushima-kun, Hitoyoshi-kun?"

"No, but I think if you and Jounan-sempai both win, it won't be a problem if I take a strategic loss."

Nabeshima punched him on the head.

"Ow! Why are you being so violent today?"

"Listen up, Hitoyoshi-kun." Nabeshima glared at him seriously. "I'll exploit whatever means I need to win, but I won't abide by any member of my club thinking it's okay not to win. Now get out there!"

Zenkichi did not move.

"What's the problem?"

"Ah, nothing. I was just surprised. You said something really cool."

"Well, thank you, Hitoyoshi-kun."

"It was just like something a proper captain would say."

"…Get in the mud, before I push you in."

Zenkichi clambered onto the field, grimacing as he felt the mud ooze up his legs. Across from him, the blonde vice-captain of the Swimming Club leered. Zenkichi was surprised to see the boy had pointed teeth. Just like Kanoya. Maybe it was a junior thing.

"Okay, as everyone should know by now, best two out of three wins! Ready … set … wrestle!"

Zenkichi lunged forward to grapple Tanegashima. Tanegashima did the same thing at the same time, and the two locked together, grasping each other's shoulders. Zenkichi struggled to push him back, but could get no traction with the mud, and found himself unable to utilize his full strength.

As Zenkichi struggled, Tanegashima slipped under his body and threw him over his back. Zenkichi flew through the air and landed on his back, the mud cushioning his fall. Stunned, he was slow to get up, only to find the Swimming Club vice-captain sneering at him. With an angry growl, Zenkichi charged to tackle. Tanegashima easily moved aside however, slipping an arm over the back of Zenkichi's neck and pinning him under his armpit.

"Want to give up?" asked Tanegashima haughtily.

"Go to hell!" Zenkichi snarled, trying to break free. Tanegashima leapt up and tucked in his body. Zenkichi was unable to hold the extra weight and fell face first into the mud. Tanegashima rolled off of him, giving Zenkichi the chance to rise to his knees, wiping mud from his eyes and spitting it out of his mouth.

While Zenkichi was distracted trying to clear his vision, Tanegashima got behind him and grabbed him by the ankle. Zenkichi immediately began clawing at the mud to escape, but once again found himself slipping through the muck. Tanegashima pressed his advantage, flinging Zenkichi to the other side of the arena.

Sliding through the mud, Zenkichi came to the horrifying realization that he, a member of the Judo Club, was being totally dominated in wrestling by a member of the Swimming Club. With a groan, Zenkichi forced himself to his feet. Across from him, Tanegashima was not even winded.

Zenkichi charged, this time holding his arms closer to his body. Tanegashima sidestepped, but Zenkichi had expected as much. Curving his momentum as best he could, he turned and dove for Tanegashima's legs, only to find them too slippery to get a hold of. Attempts to grab Tanegashima's arms proved just as futile. Regardless of their respective clubs, Tanegashima was physically bigger, and, Zenkichi now realized, stronger than he was.

This point was driven home several minutes later, with Zenkichi finding himself on his back, Tanegashima on top of him, elbow resting on his neck. Try as he might, Zenkichi could not get him off. Tanegashima leaned his face in closer than Zenkichi was comfortable with, and was treated to a close-up of the junior's shark-like smile.

"Nice try, kid. Give up. You look a mess."

"Bite me," Zenkichi fired back.

Tanegashima's eyes narrowed.

-ooo-

Zenkichi groaned and opened his eyes, blinking away the spots. He was inside, lying on a bed. He looked blearily around the room. He had no idea where he was.

"Hitoyoshi?"

Zenkichi looked up to find Ezumachi observing him from the doorway.

"He's awake," Ezumachi called over his shoulder, before standing aside to allow Kumagawa and Nabeshima into the room.

"Nya~ glad to see you're alright, Hitoyoshi-kun. You had us a bit worried there."

"Captain?" said Zenkichi, sitting up. "What happened?"

"Tanegashima shoved your head under the mud and held it there until the bubbles stopped. The chairman let it go." Nabeshima shrugged. "What'cha gonna do?"

"I passed out?" asked Zenkichi. He turned to Ezumachi. "I thought the Student Council was keeping things friendly?"

Ezumachi inclined his head in Kumagawa's direction. "We had our hands full."

Zenkichi turned to Kumagawa.

Kumagawa looked embarrassed. 「I … may have gotten a bit hysterical when Tanegashima-chan pushed you under the mud.」 he admitted. 「But, hey!」 He brightened. 「The good news is, you getting sent to the infirmary meant _I_ got to wait for you to wake up in the infirmary. Have you seen the chairwoman of the Health Preservation Committee, Zenkichi-chan? Two words. _Hello nurse_.」

"…I'm in the infirmary?" Zenkichi repeated.

Ezumachi nodded. "Which you will need to vacate, I'm afraid. Aka-san is rather annoyed with all the people crowding the hallway outside. You are very popular."

"Who…?" Zenkichi started.

「Everyone, Zenkichi-chan! Us three, Tanzaku-chan, Kanoya-chan, Hanhaba-chan had to make a phone call I'm afraid, Jounan-chan, Itami-chan, Medaka-chan is supervising clean up, so not her, Fue-chan…」

"Wait, you mean Yobuko-sempai? Why is she here?"

「She was worried about you, Zenkichi-chan! The Public Morals Committee were supposed to be keeping things civil after all. She was also mumbling something about Tanegashima x Zenkichi…」

"Wait, wait, hold on," interrupted Zenkichi. "You said Kurokami-san is supervising clean up? The competition is over? What happened?"

"Sorry, Zenkichi-chan. Jounan-kun and I couldn't avenge your loss. I got that freshman girl good, but after watching me and her go at for five minutes, Jounan-kun was too distracted to handle Yakushima-kun properly." Nabeshima frowned. "I'll have to punish him later. Anyway, you put up a good fight; don't feel bad about it."

Zenkichi slumped. "So, it was the Student Council and the Swimming Club in the final round? Who won?"

"We did," answered Ezumachi. "It seems Kurokami was quite displeased with Swimming Club's outlook concerning competition. Well, she's set them straight now, so you'll probably be their last victim."

Zenkichi stared at Ezumachi. He couldn't be sure, but he felt Ezumachi was trying to cheer him up. Zenkichi smiled. "Good to hear, Ezumachi-sempai. I guess Kurokami-san is still undefeated then."

Nabeshima punched him in the head.

"Ow!"

"Don't get cocky, Hitoyoshi-kun! The Judo Club isn't done yet. We'll pull one over on Kurokami-chan eventually!" Nabeshima grinned evilly. "In the meantime, we still took third place overall. Funding won't be a problem."

「I still say the Broadcast Club should have come in third.」 Kumagawa mock glared at Zenkichi. 「It's all your fault, Zenkichi-chan. Because you got sent to the infirmary, the chairman awarded the Judo Club sympathy votes.」

"That does sound like something the chairman would do," Zenkichi admitted. "I can't believe he's related to Shiranui." He climbed up from the bed, to find himself still dressed in his swimsuit, and still covered in mud. "Urgh, I need a shower."

「Eh, Aoki-chan wants you gone, Zenkichi-chan. Come outside and I'll hose you off.」

There was a sudden commotion from outside.

"Say yes! Say yes!"

"Yobuko-san, please calm down! Kanoya-kun, give me a hand here!"

"Don't you give more orders, woman! I don't answer to the Student Council!"

"Hose him down hose him down hose him down…"

"Perhaps someone should get Yobuko-san some tissues for that nosebleed…"

"Well don't just sit there saying so, Jounan-kun, go get some!"

"Sorry, Aso-sempai, but the captain ordered me not to stop kneeling or put my arms down until she allowed me to do so."

"Out, all of you! Or I'll send you home with the _worst_ case of nasopharyngitis!"

"Perhaps we should get out there," said Ezumachi. "I believe Aka-san is down to her last nerve."

-ooo-

Shiranui finished dialing and brought her cellphone to her ear, waiting patiently for the other party to pick up.

Click.

"Hello?"

"This is Shiranui. Did you manage to get everything taken care of?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everyone was preoccupied with that club nonsense. I wasn't noticed."

"Very good. Now that you are all set up, when can you begin?"

"I'd like to know what I'm up against first. I've arranged for a test run. See how that's handled."

"My, my, you are more cautious than I expected."

"I'm taking this seriously. Are you?"

"Absolutely. Just do as I say, and everything will work out as I explained."

"It better. I've got a lot riding on this. All I have to do is defeat the vice-president, and I can get into the Thirteen Party, right?"

"Well, saying "all you have to do" makes it sound simpler than it is, but, yes. Medaka Kurokami is Kuudou Hinokage's intended successor. Now that he has left the Thirteen Party, defeating her is the best way to prove yourself worthy of the open spot."

"Good. I'll get things started on my end then. I'll call you when I'm ready."

"Please do so. I have quite the investment in your success as well, Munakata-san."

"Just leave it to me."


End file.
